The problem I see is that she will need 2 sets of doctors. My mom and her sister shuttled grandma between them for a few years, but they lived 45 minutes from each other.
My godchildren did this, their mom lived with the 3 of them switched out and her family in Wisconsin for 3 months at a time,, and she actually enjoyed it,, but she had no mental problems and was in her 70s. My Mom and Aunt visited my cousin in TX for a 6 week stretch, and they loved it. So did we, we got time to regroup and refind ourselves. My Mom also had mobility and vision issues. So i guess it depends on how Mom feels about it. She may love it,, ask her? We all know we need breaks to feel better about caregiving. Try it out, if it dosent work at least your tried! Mom and Aunt were in thier 80s, and got spoiled rotten during their trip.. win win for all.
It CAN work as a temporary step. As an inbetween from independent living alone to needed full-time care.
To work well; #1 each home set up for Mom's needs, esp eyesight & mobility. #2 Able to access health care in both locations. #3 Mom's health issues, physical + mind (memory/cognition/emotional state) cope with these frequent changes. #4 The plan is worked out to suit EVERYONE in the plan. The plan lasts while everyone happy with the plan #5 reassess the plan regularly & be open to finding a replacement plan as needed.
My last opinion may/may not be appropriate to your situation: It can work with agreement from everyone. But not if anyone is feeling pressured to *do their fair share*.
I am caring for my mother Celedia, who is 90 years old, living at home with broken hip, hearing loss, mobility problems, and vision problems.
Let me say, your mother is very elderly with a loss of 2 of her senses at present: hearing and vision. That makes it difficult for her to ascertain where she is in space, which probably adds to her mobility problems. My mother, too, had vision and hearing problems along with neuropathy which caused her bad vertigo b/c she had no idea where she was in space. That's when the falls started, all 95 of them. I don't know how your mom broke her hip, if it was from a fall or what........but I just wanted to point out that she's in a fragile state, with the loss of 2-3 of her senses! Moving her around between houses can ADD to that fragility and cause more falls to happen b/c she's likely to be more disoriented in new locations.
That said, if you have experience moving her around between these two homes and she's okay with it, then of course you should proceed. But if you are here asking the question as to whether or not you 'should' do this, it makes me feel that you have no experience and are wondering as to the prudence of such a thing. I vote against it for the reasons mentioned.
As your mother ages, her senses go downhill normally. Further disruptions to her life tend to cause even more losses to her senses and her well being in general. You can always give it a try to see how it goes, but use your own good judgment knowing your mother so much better than we possibly can as strangers here on a forum.
I can only tell you from my own experience how disoriented my elderly mother would get, trying to use her walker, not being able to see well or hear well, coming to my house from her Assisted Living apartment, and immediately asking when I was going to take her back? And that was before she developed dementia which only made everything 10000x worse.
How does your Mom feel about it? How well do you get along with sister? What medical emergency plans and coverage for doctors are in place? Which of you will be POA? What is Mom's status mentally? I think that disruption, in general, is often very difficult for seniors. Think of teens who have divorcing parents and a necessity to move home to home. And they don't even have any mental deficits. So I would think very careful about this and I would be clear with Mom and with each other that this is an experiment in progress, and if it doesn't work for one then it's a no-go for all.
Elderly patients often have significant difficulty adjusting to ANY change, much less something as dramatic as what you’re proposing.
If this is your only option for providing care, I think you’ll need to prepare for behavioral and self care lapses each time you make the switch.
If your mother is showing any signs of memory loss and/or confusion, you’ll need to allow time for adjustment to that also.
Sometimes there are no solutions to problems that are really able to satisfy any of the people involved. Be good to yourself too, and if you’re doing your best, remember that your best IS ALL YOU CAN DO!
To work well;
#1 each home set up for Mom's needs, esp eyesight & mobility.
#2 Able to access health care in both locations.
#3 Mom's health issues, physical + mind (memory/cognition/emotional state) cope with these frequent changes.
#4 The plan is worked out to suit EVERYONE in the plan. The plan lasts while everyone happy with the plan
#5 reassess the plan regularly & be open to finding a replacement plan as needed.
My last opinion may/may not be appropriate to your situation: It can work with agreement from everyone. But not if anyone is feeling pressured to *do their fair share*.
I am caring for my mother Celedia, who is 90 years old, living at home with broken hip, hearing loss, mobility problems, and vision problems.
Let me say, your mother is very elderly with a loss of 2 of her senses at present: hearing and vision. That makes it difficult for her to ascertain where she is in space, which probably adds to her mobility problems. My mother, too, had vision and hearing problems along with neuropathy which caused her bad vertigo b/c she had no idea where she was in space. That's when the falls started, all 95 of them. I don't know how your mom broke her hip, if it was from a fall or what........but I just wanted to point out that she's in a fragile state, with the loss of 2-3 of her senses! Moving her around between houses can ADD to that fragility and cause more falls to happen b/c she's likely to be more disoriented in new locations.
That said, if you have experience moving her around between these two homes and she's okay with it, then of course you should proceed. But if you are here asking the question as to whether or not you 'should' do this, it makes me feel that you have no experience and are wondering as to the prudence of such a thing. I vote against it for the reasons mentioned.
As your mother ages, her senses go downhill normally. Further disruptions to her life tend to cause even more losses to her senses and her well being in general. You can always give it a try to see how it goes, but use your own good judgment knowing your mother so much better than we possibly can as strangers here on a forum.
I can only tell you from my own experience how disoriented my elderly mother would get, trying to use her walker, not being able to see well or hear well, coming to my house from her Assisted Living apartment, and immediately asking when I was going to take her back? And that was before she developed dementia which only made everything 10000x worse.
Wishing you the best of luck.
I think that disruption, in general, is often very difficult for seniors. Think of teens who have divorcing parents and a necessity to move home to home. And they don't even have any mental deficits.
So I would think very careful about this and I would be clear with Mom and with each other that this is an experiment in progress, and if it doesn't work for one then it's a no-go for all.
If this is your only option for providing care, I think you’ll need to prepare for behavioral and self care lapses each time you make the switch.
If your mother is showing any signs of memory loss and/or confusion, you’ll need to allow time for adjustment to that also.
Sometimes there are no solutions to problems that are really able to satisfy any of the people involved. Be good to yourself too, and if you’re doing your best, remember that your best IS ALL YOU CAN DO!