Recently we both took turns caring for her in our homes. Since we are in our mid 50's, we need to work so this became impossible and very draining and stressful to care for her. She simply can't be left alone. We had her in an Assisted living for 1 month and 3 weeks, but after she wandered off and took walks (in 110 degrees heat!) without following the protocol of leaving the facility, they could not keep her there safely. She had a nice one bedroom and living room and kitchen at the Assisted Living and now is in a bedroom which at some point will be shared with someone else.
She is now in a brand new Memory care building as of 10 days ago and also one of the very first 3 people to move in! She is a very social person and definitely does not look 80 yet. As her daughters, we are seeing her NOT adapting well at all despite the fact that she was extremely happy when we visited the place and saw her new room.
Is it normal for her to call us every day (since she figured out how to dial our numbers on her flip phone!) and cry and say she doesn't belong there, and she has no family there. She says she isn't like the other people there and they are very confused and have bad memories, etc. etc.
It also doesn't help that her brother (our Uncle) died 6 days after moved into the facility. She asks where her mom is also and now she thinks her mom and her brother both just died! Her mom died in 1991 and she thinks we are lying to her about that. We are really struggling with how to handle her verbal expressions on how she doesn't want to stay there and she wants to go home. I am the daughter who is trying to stay firm and when mom calls my sister, mom really knows how to upset my sister and make her feel guilty.
I have read many of the answers based on similar questions asked here and it has reassured me that sadly it is all normal for someone adapting to a memory care center. Any suggestions and tips for us would be greatly appreciated.