She can't remember to take her medications, bathe, brush her teeth and other activities of daily living on a regular basis but feels she is fine to drive when the notion strikes her, usually at night recently. I took her keys a couple weeks ago but she did not notice until Christmas eve and then called me and cussed me out. Christmas Day she did not mention it. I think she completely forgot it . Here it is 9 days later and she wanted to drive at night again and she called cussing me out once again. I don't know if this will be a vicious cycle every week or two or she will eventually accept it. There is no rationalizing with her that I'm doing it out of love and concern. Any advice from been there and done that people?
Just let her cuss. Have a standard response and let it go!
First thing I did was disconnect the battery cables so the car wouldn't start! She thought it must need repairs.
Her license was expired , but she still needed an ID to do business, so I took her to the DMV. We went through the motions and when it came time to do the vision test, she couldn't pass it.
Although she still doesn't recall what happened, it didn't matter because her car was "broken ".
Her car has been donated.
That's at least one issue solved!
Far better her have a conniption than killing someone on the road.
On a side note, she really sounds like she should be in AL...my MIL eventually forgot to eat and passed out when we were together. This is definitely a dealbreaker for your mom living by herself.
We disconnected the battery cables to her car. She thought the car had mechanical problems.
We explained (fibbed) that her car would have to be towed to a repair shop. She couldn't afford costly repairs and soon forgot about driving.
It worked like a charm!
At what point will you transition her to Memory Care?
If she is not remembering to take her medications she should at least be in Assisted Living.
And if she truly wants to leave, as indicated by her desire to drive is there a possibility that she would wander off? Even if she got on a bus with the other residents to go to Walmart on a Friday morning might she "forget" and wander out of the store?
I see a potentially dangerous situation here and one that might not end well.
I took Mom’s keys away after her ER stint in November, a diagnosis of mild neurocognitive disorder and attending physician saying no more driving until evaluated/tested. Husb and I were called all sorts of names and threatened to call police because I ‘took’ her keys (her car, her property).
After a month or so, Mom’s neighbor alerted me that Mom is driving!! I’m SURE she paid for a new key fob from the car dealer. Two days later, I mailed a detailed letter to the state explaining why Mom shouldn’t be driving, along with letters written to her PCP last summer detailing changes in Mom AND doc reports from Nov. hospital stay.
All this to say, if you can move her car, do it!
Keep us updated on your progress.
Where is she going that she has to go right that minute? Of course you are concerned about her. So sorry that you are dealing with this.
Should she be alone? Is she reaching a stage where she needs more care?
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