My siblings are upset that I took POA for our aging mom and will not speak or offer support. I’m thinking of backing out. Any advice?

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Vinnie, do you mean that your mom you to be her POA?

What do your siblings think this means?
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Is there an alternate provided in the POA to step in, if you step down? I'm not sure what your siblings believe, but, it's a very stressful and time consuming job. After knowing what is involved, I'd hesitate to take it on, unless there was no other option. Do they understand that you are safeguarding the assets of another and have to keep records? Do you know why they are upset? Is there some reason they don't like the idea? Is there still time for mom to appoint someone else?
I’ll bet your sibs think being POA means that you can drain Mom’s accounts and bury her money in your back yard and then sell off all her other assets and bury that money next to it.

Make sure that you keep exhaustive records of what you spend on Mom and anything to do with her upkeep. You will be accountable to probate court for that anyway. You are responsible for keeping those records, receipts, making sure her will is in order and up-to-date as well as her life insurance, funeral pre-planning, and any other needs she has are met. If brothers or sisters buy her a, say, TV and they want reimbursed, this is not an approved expense unless you told them to buy it. So they’d be stuck for the money.

I was never a meticulous record keeper and still am not. I have tons of papers from Mom and also Hubby who was in hospital at the same time. I nearly went insane trying to make sense of everything in both cases. Suspicious, uninformed and accusatory relatives would have probably caused me to go over the edge.

Also, make SURE all those records of expenses and anything else you do with Mom’s money is hard-copied and sent (proof of delivery receipt required) to all sibs at least quarterly.
You CAN'T 'take' POA for someone, you can be appointed or asked with the accompanying legal paper work, but saying "I'm POA now" means nothing. Actually, being POA, DPOA or MPOA while the person is competent--really means nothing, really, as long as the 'patient' is competent.

My younger brother has MPOA (medical) for mother. Big whoop. I just found out how very little that means. Mother can still make competent decisions for her own well being, but brother goes to EVERY Dr. visit and sits in and weighs in on everything. Mother won't allow anyone else to take her, since she thinks this is brother's 'job'. It's nice of him, but his opinions should not be the deciding factor in mom's care.

My other brother has DPOA, and he just holds the will and trust papers. He sits down with mother once a year and goes over everything. He does zero the rest of the year, because he doesn't NEED to. And it's not part of the 'job'.

If this is stressing you out and somebody else would like the 'job' ask mother to appoint somebody else and walk away.
They must not understand what POA entails.. if they did they would be thanking you and offering support. My siblings do not offer support with POA or anything related to care for my parents either.

I am my parents POA and it is a very difficult, sometimes time consuming, stressful, and unpleasant job. What is there for them to be upset about? Maybe jealous that your mom trusted you more then them to appoint you POA?

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