My scumbag BIL drove 88 yr old dad to try to get him to withdraw all his money. How do I stop the stealing? - AgingCare.com

My scumbag BIL drove 88 yr old dad to try to get him to withdraw all his money. How do I stop the stealing?

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I have written in several times for advice. Up until 7/9/18 My Sis was POA and Trustee of mom and dad. Well a couple months ago Mom had been calling, crying begging for help. Sis had been stealing Dad's IRA, Social Security, Rental property checks, Not allowing mom and dad to BUY groceries, getting them food pantry food which is mostly sugary foods when dad is a diabetic. My brother wants mom and dad to be peaceful and not have a stroke. My brother and I took Mom and Dad to lawyer to change trustee and POA. Brother made jail threats and we were thinking that Sis and Bil were scared enough to comply. Last week I took mom and dad to bank A to close accounts and open new. I told bank mgr what was going on with Sis as POA. We left bank A and went to bank B. Bank B was way to busy and mom and dad were getting stressed so we left. I went back to bank B today and found out Sis wiped out all dad's money but $5. Then I proceeded to open new accounts. I drop dad off at home and I am in a store and Bank A calls me to say Bil was just there with my dad (confused) trying to get dad to withdraw all his money. Luckily the bank mgr saw dad was confused and kinda squirted around irate Bil. I raced to bank the mgr stayed after hours to have me put account money into my name only with mom and dad as beneficiaries. Is what Bil did legal? I think Bil and Sis will now try to do this with Dad's rental property. I think you will say get guardianship, right? How long will this take? How do I stop the stealing in meantime? I am so frantic I can't sleep.

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So, calmly call the police!

If it helps, write down the important bits first. You want a timeline of [date] [what happened] without judgement or emotion.

But for your parents to be kept away from the stress of this situation, there needs to be a very clear line drawn; and the lines drawn within the family evidently haven't been clear enough.

We're not talking about your parents never seeing your sister again, or anything distressing for them. We're talking about getting BIL out of everyone's hair. Got to be a good thing, no? - and it sounds as if the bank manager will provide a statement so any questioning of your father can be kept to a minimum and very gentle.
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Reply to Countrymouse
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I am all for calling the police but my brother thinks we owe it to mom and dad to be calm. The bank manager gave me the impression that BIL was trying to lead mgr to believe BIL was actually my brother. BIL was asked several times who he was and BIL was talking as if $12000,00 was put in a trust for "his son" Bil and Sis don't have children. Bil was impersonating my brother.
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Reply to concerned151
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The lawyer told mom and dad he works for them, nobody else.
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Reply to concerned151
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I wonder if it might be possible to apply for an emergency restraining order to keep sister and BIL right away from your parents, at least until all of their assets are fully protected.

But what BIL is doing is elder abuse, and that is criminal. He is trying to steal their money! If he were caught trying to blow open a safe in their basement, nobody would think that was borderline, would they? So I think I'd also call the police for advice.
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Reply to Countrymouse
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Does he represent your mom.or sis.and.bil as POA? This may put him in a conflict of interest position. I recommend another, this one it does not appear he did mom any favors!. He may.have been advising the sis.and.bil that you are trying to shut down.
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Reply to gladimhere
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I do believe he is an elder law lawyer. Sis and Bil got him because he is always on the local radio station speaking of elder laws
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Reply to concerned151
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There is such a thing as emergency guardianship.

Is the lawyer you have been using a certified elder attorney?
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Reply to 97yroldmom
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you and your brother if you both decide, can contact the aging and adult services and report elder abuse. make sure you are keeping a record and dates/times of what you witness. go back to the beginning and include everything that has happened.
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Reply to wally003
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Guardianship can take awhile. See an elder law attorney for advice on how to stop sis and bil. Maybe start with a court order to protect dad. Do this first thing tomorrow.
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