My room mate is 96 in March it is just the two of us in the house. Had to put a lock on her door as she insisted someone is taking her stuff, towels, ear rings, quarters etc. I gave her one of the keys and I keep the other one. I am still working so she is here alone all day. She gets around okay with her walker and is still thinking pretty clearly. She has Macular Degeneration and is extreamly hard of hearing. She will not have anyone come in as she does not trust they might make her go away. This woman had an extremely good vocabulary and to see now that she has trouble completing a sentence before just saying well I don't know, is heartbreaking for me as well as the frustration I feel trying to explain something to her over and over and over. There are so many emotions running through me I really do try to consider how she must feel. I have tried to get her more help but she says there is none she is in the "Social Security Notch" actually she is not, but insists no one will help her so why try when she already knows. I am at a total loss and I will be retiring in March so will be here all day, kind of nervous about it. Mondays is grocery day and the worst day of the week for me. If I follow her around to help her it irritates her and she will be a bit loud in letting me know, I think so others will hear her as this has happened many times before when we are out. My sister was with us one time and asked me about the attitude I told her let it go, now she will not come to my house or go out with us as she does not wnat to hear her talk like that to me. My nephew is a Social Worker specializing in elderly and he has offered to come observe her over dinner soon, I wil be interested to see what input he may offer me, she will not know why he is there..She spends 95% of her time in her room, her choice. Helpless in Las Vegas...
I still think it is a very good idea for him to be introduced as a family member and given an opportunity to make informal contact with your roommate; only be prepared. You are doing the right thing. If you hadn't mentioned your nephew, I would gently have suggested you contact APS yourself and ask them to visit.
I am wondering if it is a good idea to leave her alone in the house? Would she turn on an appliance and forget? Would she leave and not know how to get back home? Could she call for help if she fell?
On the other hand will you be able to help her as she needs more and more help?
Is it possible to get someone in as a "friend" rather than as a "caregiver" would she accept a friend that would come in and stay, help out?
Having a Social Worker evaluate is a good idea but what happens with the evaluation? Who is responsible? Does she have family? Is anyone POA for health or finances? IS there someone willing to be her Guardian if she has no family?