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(not sure if this ever posted) He does nothing but attack me even though I do all the work and he lives 3000 miles away. Mom will not 'fire' him. I'm so burned out I am miserable. It's a horrible situation...help!

Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to freqflyer
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There is a solution to this problem, you just don't want to take it.

Solution 1 assumes your mother is still competent to change the trustee/POA. Tell Mom you will no longer deal with her son. She has every right to make her son trustee (is this the same as POA?), but you have no obligation to have any interactions with an abusive sibling. If Mom wants him in charge, then Mom needs to get on the phone and get her son to make arrangements for her care because you will be out the door at 9:00am ___day morning. Use your last communication with your brother to inform him of your departure. Sounds like you have talked with APS previously, so make sure you contact them again and let them know you have turned over direct care giving to the sibling Mom has put in charge. Be prepared for this to be a total cutoff. Your brother may retaliate by denying you access to visit your mother.

Solution #2 assumes your mother is no longer competent: File a petition for guardianship based on your brother's non-execution of his duties and alcoholism (if you can prove it). Have any of the 4 lawyers you visited indicated you cannot prevail in a guardianship petition?
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Reply to TNtechie
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NeedHelpWithMom May 12, 2019
I think it may be hard to do emotionally but the OP is already suffering emotionally so what’s the difference? I like your suggestions, practical and smart!
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