My parents live alone about 20 minutes from me. Dad has them on a waiting list for an American House 5 minutes away. Will this be a bad move for mom? - AgingCare.com

My parents live alone about 20 minutes from me. Dad has them on a waiting list for an American House 5 minutes away. Will this be a bad move for mom?

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I'm wondering how my mom will do with this move with her dementia. Mind you this is not an assisted living we would have to pay for private pay if my dad were to pass first. I really need them close to me but don't want to be selfish in my decision. My dad is 90 and my mom 89. We are very close. My mom really leans on me, calls me ALOT. (Which I love). This is an affordable solution but concerned it will make her more confused. And if my dad passes first, they can't afford independent living that has assisted living. So my major concern is will this be a bad move for my mom? Will this make it worse for my dad? Thank you

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Thank you all so much! You all helped me in this decision. This site is great. Such a comfort and I don't feel so alone in this journey. Thanks again :)
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Reply to Katsue
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But if your dad passes, your mom will be in a community, which is much better for her as well. I only see positives in moving your folks. Particularly for your dad (more socialization and possible help) and you (easier to care for them). Another thing that may be a positive (depending on the facility) is that in my mom and dad's place, there were several home health care agencies that I could bring in for "extra" services. Mom lived in independent living and near the end of her life, she needed help remembering to take meds. She fought me for a long time but I finally was able to bring in people 2X a day to give her meds. When my dad had cancer, I got a bath aid in for a short time to help him. You can get all kinds of daily services from these kinds of agencies, so it's a win-win.

Once the move happens, come back and let us know how it goes. We really care about each other on here, since we've all been in each others' shoes.
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Reply to blannie
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Has your family consulted an Elder Care attorney? It's a good idea to get plans made that would help your dad and mom if either of them needs residential care in the future.
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Reply to Marcia7321
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Sounds good to me .. I think your Mom will be ok with it ..esp if you move the things she care about there and makes her rooms look as much like before as possible
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Reply to baskethill1
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Thank you I needed to hear that. They live in a condo.  All their meals would be available to them. Plus my dad can "get out" there and converse with other people. I think it would be good for him. I just worry about my mom if he were to pass. But we can't see the future.  Thank you so much for getting back to me
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Reply to Katsue
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Countrymouse in Googling it, it looks like American House are senior living communities in Michigan.

Katsue I can't speak to the dementia portion of your question, but I can tell you having your parents closer will cut down on your stress and strain. My parents lived 160 miles away and as they needed more help, I asked them to move closer to me. They did. Mom lived up here for 15 more years and needed more and more care from me. She and my dad lived 1.5 miles away and I would have been a total basket case if they lived farther away. I would think with the support from you and your dad, your mom would be OK with the move.

Do they live in their family home now? I'm assuming they'll get meals and have activities with the American House facility, is that right? I guess from my experience, I think you're doing the right thing for your mom and dad.
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Reply to blannie
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What's "an American house" in this context, please?
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Reply to Countrymouse
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