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We do most of the caregiving. They both need substantial support and are housebound. We do all meals, dressing, medications and bathroom and shower support. For the past 4 years, they have contributed minimally towards groceries and have saved some money with their social security checks. Thinking ahead that this may be too much for us someday, we would want them to qualify for Medicaid. And with us out of jobs, due to Covid, we think it's time to ask my dad to contribute a more fair amount.

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I don’t think it’s unreasonable for them to pay for share of expense and to pay for their care.
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As far as household expenses if there are 4 of you living in the house they should pay half of all expenses so mortgage, utility bills, food, insurance, cable and any other joint expenses.
As for caregiving. I paid the last 2 caregivers I hired (private, not through an agency) $20.00 per hour. They had 1 person to care for. If you and your husband are both caring for your parents then I do not think $20.00 to 30 an hour is a fair amount and probably even a bit low depending on how much care they require.
If either or both of your parents are Veterans depending on where and when served they may qualify for a little or a LOT of help. there are programs that would pay you as a caregiver.
For more help with supplies and equipment there is a possibility that one or both of your parents would qualify for Hospice. They would provide equipment, supplies and help as well as possibly having a volunteer come in to give you a break so you can go out. (a Volunteer can not do hands on care so time is limited to about 4 hours)
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You’re not unreasonable to ask for help. Please don’t get yourself in a bind.

Contact Council on Aging for help. They can help arrange for their future.

Take care and best wishes to you and your family.
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Yes. I do think your parents should pay for your time caring for them. What's fair? Most agencies charge around $20-$25/hour. Of course, they can't afford to pay you that, but they should know that so that they won't complain about how much they pay you.

At the very least, they should contribute enough to cover their expenses: food, utilities, personal items, gas for driving them places and anything else they need. Then, they should pay you for the time you spend caring for them: making meal, dressing, etc.
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