My sibling has taken over my elderly parent's gmail. Sibling has a long history of taking huge amounts of money from parent (more later). He has his email as mom's recovery & his phone as the 2-step security. Mom used to click on her icon and the password was automatically filled.
But last month we had to have a tech guy come over to help with her computer and he found key-logger spyware that sibling had installed so the computer had to be wiped. That means mom doesn't have her password and sibling now has full control of her gmail.
Even tho we know we can set up a new gmail, it's important that we regain access to her acct as there will be important docs on there, such as old taxes, info on other bank accts etc - things we can't find and that he is hiding.
How can we regain control of this gmail or at least freeze it so that he can't delete stuff he doesn't want us to see? google seems very unhelpful about it all, To top if off, mom is very sick right now adjusting to new medication, is losing weight and can't really deal with this now, she's fragile and sleeping all the time.
We are working with an attorney to try to recover some of the money sibling took (he set himself up in her bank account was sending himself thousands of dollars every month, plus pressuring her to write checks, basically he's wiped out all her savings, hundreds of thousands and did this by controlling her - her emails, her financials, and acting menacing so that we were all afraid of him).
Is hijacking a gmail account (which is the address she uses on her bank accounts etc) illegal? He may well give it back to us but only after he has deleted anything incriminating.
Also for those of you who have dealt with elder financial abuse - would you recommend the adult protective services route? We contacted an attorney first because we didn't know the extent of what he was up to, but I wonder now if we should contact law enforcement as the attorney seems a bit wishy-washy (although she's an estate attorney and doesn't specialize in financial abuse).
Any thoughts of how to freeze & regain control of gmail?
Be sure to cancel her credit cards (and report it as fraud), and consider a credit security service like LifeLock. If you have a mobile phone have all her new checking and credit card notifications go to your number for every single transaction. Make sure the bank knows you are pursuing a criminal action and that there's been theft. Start using a password keeper. Mostly, it may be time to end your mom's online access. All her sensitive financial papers, documents, checkbooks, licenses, titles, etc. should be scanned and kept in a locked fire-proof safe off site from her home if your brother (and other strangers) can get access. Maybe now you will need to do all her banking and financial transactions for her so she has no need to keep cc's and checkbooks with her. Give her a pre-loaded debit card with a small amount of cash on it if she wishes to shop in person.
It is so depressing dealing with this at the same time she is so vulnerable. I thank everyone who took the time to respond, it gave me direction of what to do next.
Then everything has to be shut down and redone.
If your mom's tech savviness does not extend past clicking on an icon to get to something then she should not be doing her banking and other financial business on-line.
As for the thieving, controlling brother. Does your mother herself tell you that he pressures her to write checks and intimidates her?
May I ask how old your mother is? I ask this because more times than not the elder is willingly giving the money and even insisting the person they give it to take it. The story they tell others is totally different. A case of some villain stealing it and intimidating them.
Your brother's email is your mother's default account. He could very well be helping himself to her money, but her email isn't being hijacked by him. You can talk to the police. They may be able to help you, but cases like this are not a priority to them.
Take your mother to the bank and open new accounts. You start taking handling her banking and financial affairs.
Close all bank accounts, credit cards( have they been used) email account. Start a anew…
Mom is the victim, so she is the one that has to file the charges.
Are you sure she's not depressed because of what her son did?
Get the law involved now because the longer you wait, the harder it is.
An estate attorney doesn't deal with criminal charges, shame on her for not being honest. I would find another attorney.
Best of luck getting him prosecuted. People can be so low.
If your parent isn't demented then likely you cannot help her choosing to give away ever penny she has.
You should contact APS at once, and the police as well, as well as your attorney. No thoughts on the account and hoping that you are POA and that you have all accounts now in your control and to be frank I would not have anything online. I did all my brother's work directly with the bank.
A wishy washy attorney won't do. Ask her to recommend you to the correct attorney. Trust and estate is for after death. You need criminal attorney or elder law attorney.
Get out there and do the police reporting. This is theft UNLESS it is gifting, and has been going on too long; you will need an explanation for them about that if you have known for some time. Begin to keep your own meticulous records, files and diaries.
It your parent suffers from dementia and you are POA, put a fraud alert onto the Experian, transunion, and Equifax and the other credit reporting if you are POA. You will have first to send your POA paperwork to them. Close any charge cards at once. Call them and put on fraud alert.
Be certain that the POA only is able to access the accounts. This is basic banking work done with the banking ADMINISTRATOR at your bank with your POA.
You honestly only have one question here. Is your Mom demented and diagnosed and are you her POA and acting for her because she is incompetent? If so you need to be in charge of EVERYTHING and Mom can have a tiny personal account
ORRRRRRRRRRRRR
Is Mom competent and bowing to pressure and has typically and always will?
If the latter is the case, short of getting guardianship, you cannot protect her, and if she is competent you cannot get guardianship.
Again. This is theft. This is a police matter. You need an elder law attorney or a crimal lawyer. Trust and Estate attorneys are for after death.
All APS today.
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