My parents did their estate planning in 2013, both POA's and wills. My brother and his wife got new POA forms. What can we do?
Since that time my father's health has declined and my mother has struggled to provide adequate care for both of them. My father has since lost his drivers license and he has lost a wide variety of his former capabilities. I have been helping them with their household bills for the past 3 years. My brother and his wife have always been concerned with the family home and have expressed that they feel it should not be sold. At this point, selling the home is not even being discussed but if necessary the house may need to be sold if both parents had to enter assisted living. My brother is not named on the P.O.A. because my parents felt he was not the right choice to handle their finances. He currently can't even get a car loan because his credit is so bad. My father recently saw the doctor and his condition has declined to the point that the doctor recommended that he go into assisted living. My brother and his wife got the standard P.O.A. forms that can be downloaded from the state and then they took my Dad to a bank and had him sign a new Power of Attorney...both medical and financial. They have looked at assisted living homes and not involved my mother in any of these options. They are playing their "trump card" of having new power of attorneys. My mother is confused by all of this and we are not even protected by having these former documents drawn up. Is our only option to go to court? Our lawyer does not do litigation and said we need to petition for guardianship. Is this the best course of action? From my understanding, because my father did not choose to draw up a new power of attorney and because his doctor has recommended a higher level of care...he was unduly influenced into signing that document. My brother has involved Adult Protection Services on the grounds of neglect. The APS being involved should be a good thing but it doesn't appear to be that way. My parents carefully and purposely planned their estate planning when they were both on top of their finances and their decision making capability. My other brother who lives in a different state are prepared to hire a lawyer but we need to know what can be done immediately to prevent my brother from doing anything with specific finances that he could access. It should be noted that my parents are currently financing over $22,000.00 in car loans at their bank. We are more than concerned what type of powers he may have if this new P.O.A. is taken as a valid document. Neither our lawyer or my Mom have seen this new document. Apparently the APS worker has seen it but when we discussed how it was attained...he showed little to no concern. If anyone knows what could be done immediately, please advise. I have already completed an abuse of power of attorney complaint with adult protection services 5 days ago. I have not heard anything from them.
Just saw your latest post after I posted the above. Someone with the dubious financial background of your brother is not qualified to handle anyone else's finances.
I'm afraid you're headed for court, and a court disposition with perhaps an appointee outside of the family. I would find a good attorney now, whether it's in Elder Law or Estate Planning, with contested guardianship experience.
This is going to be costly, and you could be looking at 10,000, but that can/will come out of your parents assets IF (only if) the guardianship is granted to YOU. Be certain that you want that guardianship. Dependent on your skills and the amount of time you have it could be preferrable to let the state appoint a guardian to manage the assets of such of your parents. Do know if that happens you have nothing to say even about where placement will take place if that is necessary; they will make decisions they think best to have assets last longest and will be paid to do so.
good luck. Hope you will update us.
Then go thru your bank statements and do an excel file on all those payments past 3 years. If you know what they were for (like $456.78 ch #1234 2/03/19 for homeowners insurance) then put that as a note to that check. Should APS contact you, you’ll have a nice set of paperwork to show your day to day concern and positive involvement in their ability to live on thier own at home. You did these costs not expecting to be reimbursed but rather out of a sense of familial duty, love & concern but as brother now got a new DPOA and he has been not forthcoming on how finances being done, you had no choice but to stop helping out.
Btw this is your new mantra too.
Personally I’d forget dealing with dueling POA and get an attorney that does guardianships. Cost I’d guess in the 5k -8k range. But if your side”wins”, it comes out of your parents assets. Guardianship almost always heard in probate court. Probate court is open records for filings, do see if you can go online to your PC to look at like last 6 mos of filings to see who the attorneys are who do most of the guardianship. It’s
likely be be the same names over & over again. That’s who you call to find one you & out of state sibling vibe best with & hire to represent you.
To get beyond the pick me pick me dramarama, you can opt for a court appointed guardian to be named as temporary guardian. Like say 6 mos. Your bad sibling won’t be expecting this and it can work to your favor. So if he has lousy credit score, no solid job, anyone in his household has felonies or even juvee issues, those are reasons NOT for a judge to name him & instead appoint an impartial outside guardian. Your attorney will know the judge and how they run their court. This is kinda important. Then in the interim 6 mos, you work with the temporary guardian to clean up parents financially and get them placed into assisted living with house put on the market. Guardian can really get stuff done in ways you can’t as they go thru the AL/NH placement system and know what needs to happen to get them spent down to go onto Medicaid should House Sale $ not even enough for private pay for a couple of years. And also as it’s an outsider making these decisions, you don’t get the fallout / guilt / recriminations / tears from mom & dad.
Dueling DPOA just too open for constant skirmishes. Go guardianship.
See of you can find the auto loan stuff. 22k is like $400-$500 a mo? Plus insurance. Did bro influence this or is it more folks have dementia enough that their “executive functioning” is whack? Once they go into AL or NH, won’t need a car, so it’s either going to Be sold or turned back in. I’d try to get all paperwork on this so that it’s something you can be all ready to work with temporary guardian on & show why it’s you to be named permanent guardian after 6 mos initial period has passed. If sib is the type to have cars so that he, his wife or his kids can drive the cars, I’d get a set of keys on the down low & find a storage place that takes cars so you can go & drive cars off & into storage on a moments notice if need be.
Look at the auto loan, it might be such that it can be easily turned it, with minor issues. Will it affect thier credit, yeah, but it’s not like their buying a new home & need a glowing credit report.
Reducing parents debt or unnecessary obligations will be looked at very closely.
And that will shut down brothers plot to get the money very effectively since it will not come from you.
do the record thing very meticulously. Leave nothing out and include notes on some of the expenses as necessary.
You might even be able to obtain copies of cancelled checks.
Good luck
As I understand it your parents do not live with anyone--are independent at present? I do not see how adult protective can become involved then except to say that your parents need a higher level of care, ie placement. The costs for two people entering assisted living, given you have already been assisting financially, is going to mean yes, the home will be sold UNLESS it is the intention of your brother, who does hold POA now, to keep the home, make your parents dependent on the state, and have them go on Medicaid, which would be a bad placement for them.
If no agreement can be come to about selling the family home and finding decent living place for your parents, who clearly are in need of care, then I feel that the court likely IS the best arbiter. They will liquidate the assets very quickly and see to it that they support the care of the parents.
It is time for all siblings to meet together, to make it clear that A) parents need placement B) assets need to be made liquid to pay for decent care, as they will go ANYWAY on any sale and medicaid recovery. C) and yes, take them to court and request either guardianship as first ordered by parents when they were capable OR guardianship of the state. This will scare the brother enough to cause cooperation, I HOPE.
You DO NEED MD assessment now for diagnosis for your parents.
So sorry you are going through all this.
You say you've been covering some of your parents' living expenses until now, so they have been living beyond their means AND YET have co-signed a loan to your brother? If parents go into AL they will likely need the funds from their house sale, and some of that will need to go to cover that loan... Are you concerned that your brother will financially drain your parents? I hope your brother knows that the Medicaid look back is most likely 5 years in your parents' home state. It's probably too late for Brother (or anyone) to "get" their house.
As for fighting over legal authority for your parents...be careful as I've read in this forum that if the courts see a reason they will take the guardianship themselves and then no one has control. I think consulting an elder law and estate attorney is the wise thing to do and will be worth the money for your own strategy going forward, but not sure if the outcome for your parents will be much different if they don't have something like an irrevocable trust to pay for their care. In the end if they have to apply for Medicaid to get into AL, what will have been gained by the familial tussling? Consulting a lawyer will hopefully help answer the many questions.