My parents are both 78 yrs. old. I am becoming very concerned with their situation. What do I do?

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Both have recent health issues & live w/my brother who has brain injury. My mom has been a CNA all her life, she cares for dad who has heart stints and in latter stages of liver disease. However, mom just recently diagnosed and had surgery for both breast cancer and lung cancer. She is still recovering at home. Dad is mainly in bed and not feeling well, fragile state. He's in/out of hospital more often these days. My two sisters are homeless and on drugs so they don't help out and hardly ever come to see my parents. Mom has become depressed due to everything. My brother moved in a few years back and was put on the lease in their senior community as a "caretaker" for the home/grounds. He has had a bullet in his head since he was a teenager. He was supposed to take meds the nuerologist prescribed for seratonin levels, and anti siezure and get check up's. He quit taking the meds and giving blood samples at his check up's, quite a few years back. He's on SSD and they require these periodic check ups. Last week I was ran off physically by him when I went to visit my parents and take them dinner. Me and mom were talking after dinner. She was telling me "thank you so much for this food and visiting", and how she "wished it could be like this all the time". That "she misses me". I reminded her how the invite to come stay with me is always open! We did not expect the outburst from him, but we got one. My parents are used to having him there. They feel bad that he has a bullet in his head and suffers. I have tried for sometime to convince my parents to come live with me on the other side of town. They do not want to leave their home. I can't blame them either, but I am becoming very concerned with this situation. I never thought my parents declining from age would happen so fast and under these circumstances. I love them so much! What do I do?

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Thank you both for your replies. It is much appreciated. :)
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Your poor parents have had a lot of heartache in their life, haven't they? They are lucky to have you. Continue your visits -- increase them if you can. Who is taking care of your bedbound father at this point? Would it help things to have a visiting nurse or PCA or aide coming into the home regularly, to check on him? How about your mother? Should her doctor order some in-home care as followup for her cancer treatments?

It is not surprising that they don't want to leave their home and their disabled son. But what if you invited them for a few days at a time? Pick them up Friday night, watch movies, have a late lazy brunch, play cards, make a very special meal Saturday night, served on your best china, and go out for breakfast Sunday morning. You could say that you want to spend more time with them and that you also want to give your brother a break -- that he deserved some time to his self now and then.
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Hi Athenal. Your parents' situation is really sad. But being caring parents as they are, they will not abandon their disabled son. If you have children, you will understand it. You can only do what you can do. Keep visiting your parents as often as you can. It makes your mother happy. You are her sunshine. The situation will keep on going until it can't be carried on anymore. Then changes will happen, and you can offer your support at that time. Meditate and pray for your parents' health.

As for your brother, I wonder why SSD people don't do anything about his lack of check ups. They don't follow up? Perhaps, you should call SSD and notify them. Hopefu.lly, they can get him back on his meds.
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