Not really a question but an update. I posted on here last year about my mom who was being controlled by her abusive, sick, 95-year-old brother. He has 2 wealthy sons who do nothing to help him along with adult grandchildren. My mom was going to his house, scrubbing his floors on her hands and knees, while he verbally abused and starved her. My older brother kept driving her out there. There is no money reward as well. Both my mom and brother were controlled by my uncle. I gave up trying to stop telling her to go as she would get angry. What happened was my mom wound up in ER with delirium, afib, heart failure, blood clots in both legs and her lungs. Multiple hospitalizations. Cognitive decline got much worse. I told my brother, "I warned you and you didn't listen" now he regrets it. Uncle is now healthier than her, he still expects her to go out to his house despite this. He never even sent a card or flowers. He just calls my brother for the gossip on her condition. Before my Mom got involved with him she was healthy as a horse, had an active happy social life. She decided to get taken down by her brother. A sad and tragic story which I don't think I will ever forgive her for letting him take her last years of her life away. It was her choice. I believe his goal was to destroy her health because he was sick and he wanted her to be like him. Mission accomplished.
Your brothers POA is not there to control Mom. Its a tool to help her when she can no longer do for herself. Basically, making sure her bills are paid and she is getting the care she needs. Its not guardianship. That can only be gotten when there is proof the person can no longer make informed decisions. There is a court case and a Judge who reviews all the proof and signs off. Once your a guardian, you are responsible to the State to keep good records and you must prove that all Moms moneybis being used for her care.
Of course Uncle has stopped calling. He lost his slave. Now Mom should not live alone. Maybe once her health gets under control and she is away from the stress she will be better. You brother was as abusive as the Uncle. Making her go there when she said she was sick. If she can still make decisions, she needs to revoke his POA and assign someone else.
My Aunt was Italian, her parents immigrants. The sons were revered. But neither my Aunt or her sisters would have scrubbed floors for their brothers. Maybe that is why they did not marry Italians.
Do you have any suggestions about stopping it happening to people from now on?
Sometimes, the Admins will notice and correct it.
It is what brought me over to read in the first place. Sorry that I did not have an answer for you. Yours is a complex and tragic story.
Hope your Mom can be protected in the future.
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Is this correct?
My 89 year old MOM got sick
Who is her POA?
Who is her guardian?
Was APS called on this situation, could I ask.
If your mother was helpless due to dementia then this cannot be considered her fault.
If however, she was lucid and in charge of her own life, and chose to obey an abusive brother, then it was her choice.
Not knowing more details we can but guess.
I do hope, now she is very ill and having cognitive decline, that she is in care and protected from an abusive family. I hope that when she is gone and no longer needs you that you will drop this family like hot potatoes.