I don't know how much more of this I can take. My brother and his wife and two adult kids came to this city 2 years before me. When I realized they weren't doing much to help Mom and Dad, I gave up everything and moved here, going back and forth to get my house sold in another state. I rented a house here and eventually remodeled my parents' attic and moved in there. I paid for the rental, the remodel, all expenses on my own.
I was unaware that my brother and his wife had convinced my parents to not only buy him a large house, but to give him living wages monthly. They also bought his daughter a car. My brother and his wife used coercion and guilt. Their daughter used flattery, babytalk, and sobbing about how much she wanted to care for them, but couldn't because her car kept breaking down. So Dad bought her one.
But then things started to unravel:
Mom noticed suspicious charges to their credit card and asked me to find out about it.
Then I noticed charges from AT&T for devices they weren't using and didn't seem to have.
Then Mom said my brother was being verbally abusive to Dad when they went to "his" house to visit.
After investigating, I discovered, as you probably guessed, that the credit card charges were all charges for my brother and his family's stuff. My niece had never gotten the car put in her name so Dad was paying her tags, registration and insurance.
And they convinced Dad to buy Ipads, smartphones and things he'd never use. That way, they got him set up on a family plan in which their own devices and monthly plans were paid for.
Dad decided to quit funding their lives at that point, and ever since they've all been trying to get rid of me.
PLEASE NOTE!! I HAVE contacted APS, attorneys, police, you name it! NO ONE will help.
I filled out a form on the state APS site a year ago. After 2 months passed, I called and was told they'd closed the case without me knowing it was ever open. I was told that, even though my brother lives only 20 minutes away, he's over the state line, and they don't cross state lines.
THEN, I called a number of elder abuse attorneys. None were interested unless it involved a nursing home.
THEN I called criminal and civil attorneys. One was interested, but made a few calls, sent me a bill for $400, and was never heard from again. My guess is that he decided he can't make any money off of my brother's family because none of them have jobs and they lost their only income when Dad stopped their funds.
THEN I went downtown with Dad to fill out a form to get a protective order, but was told we had to file a police report at home.
THEN we came home, called police, who came by and asked "do you have proof of threats of bodily harm?" No? "then we can't do anything."
THEN I went to a Saturday mtg that offers pro bono legal services to the poor (that's me). They said there was nothing that could be done because my parents ARE being cared for (by me), so there's no neglect going on, they aren't sitting in feces and urine, or being hit.
When Mom had a stroke 6 mos ago, I took her to the hospital. My niece arrived 3 days later to visit and tried to claim I assaulted her in the hallway. Security came with her at 4 am and told me to leave because my brother had appeared and backed her story. They didn't realize Dad was in the room, and also didn't realize I'd been told I could not leave him for even a minute because he was a fall risk. That meant he had to leave too, so I woke him to leave the hospital but he came out of the room shaking with anger and told the guards to "get rid of those idiots." They did.
When my niece kept calling nurses and admin continuing her claims, I had them pull video from the hall. They saw there was no assault and that was that.
Ever since, she has continued to make outrageous claims and pull stunts like that and has been a huge distraction for health pros at various medical facilities where Mom has been.
Today, after not seeing or hearing from her for 2 months, she showed up with police who said she claimed my parents are neglected and abused. They wanted to talk to Mom and Dad and look through the house. One policeman pulled me aside and asked "why don't you cooperate with her? thats all she wants." I"d been in the shower when they arrived and I had a hair appt for Dad and a vet appt for my cat who has cancer. It was so upsetting to see police and my niece that I was shaking.
My entire day and night every day of the week consists of changing and cleaning Mom, giving her meds, making seperate and different meals for her and Dad, doing laundry, taking Dad to noon mass and picking him up, taking them to doctor appt's, or talking to dr offices on the phone, putting liquids in Mom's peg tube, cleaning, meeting with home health care, and trying to wake Dad up for meals.
It's devastating to have police show up and make judgements based on the lies of one person.