I've tried to help him but he's become a thorn in my side. I think someone is conning him out of all his money so I've contacted elder abuse about this. I've had to put locks on my gates to keep him out of my yard and letting my dogs out. If my door isn't locked he walks into my house without knocking and asks if I'm naked. I keep my doors locked now. We share a long rural easement that is currently covered in snow. Our CC & Rs dictate that we are to share equally in the cost of easement maintenance, but my neighbor claims he's broke and can't pay. He than proceeds to get his truck stuck in the middle of our private road and he can't afford a tow truck. Neither can I, but I need to get out of the driveway for a doctors appointment. I call friends and we dig him out of the snow and get his truck home. No sooner do I walk in the house then he's back in his truck, driving down our shared road, only to get stuck again! To make matters worse, he's been taking my mail. I ask him not to, but he does what he wants. He then holds my mail hostage so he can garner an invite to my house and flirt with me. He thinks he's real cute and quite the ladies man. I told him I'm reporting his actions to the postmaster general and he got angry and threatened to throw all my mail away. Today I'm having a locking mailbox installed at great personal expense. I've missed doctors appointments and even a nieces' wedding because of him. I've spent hours searching for my dogs on numerous occasions after he let them out of my fenced yard. He laughed about it. He thought it was funny. I'm keeping elder abuse apprised of the situation, I don't know what else to do besides selling my house and moving! I didn't sign up for this. His cognitive abilities are declining. He's also been feeding the deer next to my fence and the deer cause my dogs to bark excitedly. I've asked him to stop because it's illegal and corn is bad for deer's health and he says he'll do what he wants. I bought expensive anti-bark collars for my dogs because I don't want my other neighbors to be inconvenienced by barking dogs. So far my neighbor has cost me $700.00, not including all the gas money I've spent driving him around for the past four years because I didn't want him driving for safety's sake. Now, I just don't care anymore. I've had it! Elder Abuse doesn't seem to be doing much. I told them to check into his finances because I believe his money is being stolen from him. Either that or he's lying to me, as he has on many occasions. I didn't sign up for this! I don't have the patience to deal with a belligerent child who's nice if he gets his own way, contrary if he doesn't. I'm not a caregiver and I owe this neighbor nothing. He has no family that I'm aware of. It seems like I'm the only friend he's got. That is so sad. I'm trying to get him professional help, at least with his finances. He also needs a hazmat team to clean out all the rodent droppings in his house, according to Terminix. A supervisor called me from Terminix and alerted me to the rodent situation in my neighbors house. I reported it to Elder Abuse. They sent a Sherriff out to speak with my neighbor. My neighbor told the Sherriff (who spoke to him outside without ever entering his home) that the rodents are all gone now. The Sherriff left and that was the end of that. What more can I do?
Keep calling the sherrif, even if it’s 5 times in a day. Sooner or later, he will be proactive if only to stop you from calling. Call your local health department and report what Terminix told you. Stop tolerating this harassment. He’s not your responsibility and don’t make him so.
Sometimes things have to get worse before they can get better. Sorry that you had to go through everything with your neighbor but you can feel good about him finally receiving much needed help now.
He left you no choice but to report the situation. You did the right thing. By doing so, he gets help.
The elderly are so vulnerable. Very sad, indeed. Lonely too.
I wonder if the right people got the report, because, in all the areas that I know, it's MANDATORY for Adult Protective Services to conduct an investigation into a senior who is at risk or is danger to himself within a short time.
I'd research to see if the right people were contacted and insist on a reason he's still suffering. A precursory visit from a Sheriff's Deputy, who didn't even check the house seems bizarre and wholly inadequate. Sometimes, you have to make a little more noise to get people help. And, even if the county is slack as hell, his condition seems to be more than obvious. I hope he gets the help he needs.
This has to weigh heavy on your shoulders and you should not have to deal with it, however, it's an opportunity for you to really make a difference in saving someone from suffering, so, there's that.
You have been awesome trying to protect him from himself, you are an example to all of us what compassion looks like in action.
Let us know how it is handled and what the authorities do. It is good information for all of us to know. Never know when it might be our neighbor.
Hugs to you for caring.
See All Answers