My nan physically attacked me a couple of weeks ago. She then called the police and turned it all around saying I had attacked her. Any advice?

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Has anyone else been through anything like this. My nan has been pretty normal until very recently. There has been a few verbal attacks from her but this physical one was the most concerning especially as she seems to have gotten it into her head that it was be that hit her. I am at my wits end with all of this as her story is elaborating all of the time about it. Is this usual?

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I agree with Everishlass. From what you've said it sounds as if moving her to a nursing facility may be the next step. However, there are many variables such as dementia, new medications, does she have a urinary tract infection, will she see a doctor? If we could have more information we could be more helpful.
Take care of yourself,
Carol
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In my opinion, one must be very careful here. When a sick old person claims abuse? They will, in all likelihood be given more than the benefit of the doubt. I get it, because there IS much abuse. But false allegations can be just as damaging.

Frankly, if you can't find a way to deal with her without her making these allegations, you need to keep your distance when you're alone with her, and make other arrangements for her care giving.

You can't argue with someone with dementia. It's a battle you're going to lose. "Wow, nan, I don't remember saying that. Honest! But if I did? I am soooo SORRY!" Can you see the difference between that and what you did? By saying, "I remained calm," you may have only fanned the flames. You're always going to lose in a she-said-I-said-that-and-I-didn't argument.

It's not important that you be right. What's important is that you acknowledge her feelings and assuage them. Dementia's like that.
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Sounds like she may have UTI or similar that can make someone act crazy. Hopefully, police did not file a report. If they did, then you can use these doctor or hospitilazation reports to substantiate your claim that you didn't initiate attack.

While she is in hospital, request a mtg with care team and dr and see if they can recommend in writing that she go al AL or have in home care set up. Then do it and extricate yourself from caregiving responsibilities for while. Visit only in presence of a caregiver, aid, etc.
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smarshall, its either a uti or the beginnings of dementia. My Mom was beating on my caregiver when I was at work one day and took off up the hill to leave. As I just said to someone else, the neuro put her on depakote to calm her. She needs help, dont pull away completely, send someone else over there to keep an eye on her if you can ok. Good luck, argh, dementia is such a long ugly road.
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smarshall, my grandfather had kidney failure and it can make them totally disconnected from reality. Do NOT allow them to release her to her home or this will happen again. Accusations will repeat, you could end up in jail.
It's time for a Nursing Home for nan.
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She has been sent home today...There have been more accusations and elaborations and I haven't even seen her in 11 days. This is awful....she is demonstrating such hatred towards me when speaking to my brothers I'm actually scared what will happen next!!?
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Your profile doesn't say anything so we don't know if you live with her or does she live on her own? Has she been diagnosed with dementia? Did she attack you while she was agitated?

Having no information to go on except what you wrote I would say it might be a good idea to begin thinking about a skilled nursing facility for her. If she thinks that you are hitting her you will be in a very dangerous situation. Not from her attacks but from authorities who may have to get involved as a result of these attacks. They may believe that you're abusing her.

If you could give us a little more information it would help us to give you more detailed answers and suggestions.
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You are right and I have pulled away. I have a 4 year old son and I cannot risk any further accusations. She has been saying things about a couple of different people.....it is so sad to see how 'believing' these things. We have recently (in may this year) lost my mum (nan's only child) to cancer so I had put her behaviour down to delayed shock and grief but after she attacked me I thought it might perhaps be more....I want to be there for her. We are so close....but I don't even recognise this person x
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Talk to a social worker at the hospital. They may be able to help document, in photographs if need be, your injuries and the fact that she's does not have any, and advise next steps. Sorry to hear you are in this difficult situation!
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She was agitated yes as she was shouting at me telling me id said something that I hadn't. I remained very calm. She lives in the house next door to me. It kinda came out if the blue. Very shocking and upsetting on many levels. She's not been diagnosed with dementia but she has been in hospital since the Wednesday following the attack. She's not yet been diagnosed with anything but there is a problem with her kidneys. :-(
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