My mum has a brain tumour and has been in a Carehome now for 2 years. I had a phone call on the 19th of November stating that mum has secretions building in the back of her throat and that she wasn’t able to swallow. She was placed on NIL by mouth on the 19th. She has two syringe drivers in place to give her steroids, anti seizure medication and morphine now. She is still fighting now and I’m really confused how this can be possible. I have been at the Carehome everyday since the 19th of November for 12 hours plus. I’m just wondering if anyone has experienced this and how long this can actually last for?
I feel super guilty even asking that question but I am just baffled, confused and fed up now. Thank you
I recommend the VSED Handbook by Kate Christie (Amazon), a short handbook of her journey with her mother stopping eating and drinking as a self-deliverance.
The NORM is 7 days to 14 days. There are definite stages. Definitely bodily changes and mental changes. I am certain hospice is now on board for you? They can tell you exact signs of the end's approach.
I am so sorry. This, nor most ways of dying--not easy. Just not easy. The morphine will help and there are other meds that help as well, but this is absolutely normal all you feel. The VSED Handbook will, I think, be a comfort to you even if read AFTER the death.
I am again so sorry for this. It is a crucible to stand witness, and the writer of the handbook makes that clear. At best this is very tough stuff. My heart goes out to you.
When I spoke to the nurse about it, she said that my mother was traveling. She felt like mom had one foot in this world and the other foot was leaving this world.
It’s difficult to see. The staff was wonderful to my mother. Don’t be concerned about your mum’s mouth being dry. They will moisten it with a damp sponge.
Wishing you peace during this difficult time.
He died on Sept. 14th 2020, and had no food for 41 days and no drink for over 25 days, though he was getting some liquid fentanyl through his PICC line.
And yes it was very hard to watch him basically wither away before my eyes.
Only God knows the day and time that He will take your mum Home, so just enjoy whatever time you may have left with her and leave nothing left unsaid.
Your mum knows you love her so you really don't have to stay by her bedside 12 hours a day. Your mum may not want you there when she leaves this world for the next, so don't be surprised that she passes when you're not there.
However it happens is how it was supposed to happen, so don't feel bad or guilty for your choices.
I pray for God's peace and comfort to be with you in the days, weeks and months ahead.
I’m sorry for your loss. May you find peace .