You've been posting about your mother with dementia since 2021! Is she still living alone after all this time, not wanting to bathe or change clothes??? Who has POA? I'd not give her a choice in the matter, just let her know she's moving (on moving day) and that's it. There comes a time when need overrides want, and safety overrides everything. Now is that time.
If there’s any way possible, let others handle it. If siblings are near her, invite them to confirm her status or an agency. There are private agencies that can manage the care for you, but it’s expensive. Managing the care and supervision of someone with dementia is extremely stressful and exhausting. I read warnings, but now realize the toll it can take.
If you can take her on a long trip or an overnight at your place, have movers move her things closer to you and have the movers arrange them in the same way as her place and when she returns "home" just refer to it as "home" ah isn't it great to me "home" oh your "home" looks so warm and comfy. If she is that far with dementia she shouldn't notice or should accept what you say, then just go with it. This is how my friend moved her mother from her home to a facility and it worked.
If ur Mom has been diagnosed with Dementia and has a POA, she no longer can make informed decisions for her life. She should not be living alone. If she has someone assigned POA its up to that person to have her declared incompetent by a doctor or doctors. Once done, the POA is in effect and the POA now makes decisions for Mom. Unless the POA is immediate, if do the POA is already in effect.
Or as said, you wait for something to happen where Mom has no choice.
Your mother has dementia. What she WANTS now is no longer the question. When dementia becomes severe enough--I am certain you know this--it becomes a matter of safety of the person to be alone and without care.
Only you can decide this matter. If you feel incapable of intervening I would call APS and tell them what you have told us, and tell them that you are not capable of intervening here. Ask that they open a case and get your mother assessed for possible state guardianship.
My mother did not have dementia but she lived 700 miles from me, in the mountains of NC, one had to be a billy goat to get in and out of her home.
For 10 years my brother and I tried to get her to sell and move tom FL and go in AL. She refused.
We sat back and waited finally she had a slight stroke and was afraid to stay alone at night, she kept calling the EMT's, they finally started charging her $600 per call, well, guess what she decided to move here and in AL.
4 years later, she still loves living in AL, new friends, activities and she doesn't have to lift a finger.
You may have to just wait, something will happen, it always does with the elderly.
Or as said, you wait for something to happen where Mom has no choice.
What she WANTS now is no longer the question. When dementia becomes severe enough--I am certain you know this--it becomes a matter of safety of the person to be alone and without care.
Only you can decide this matter.
If you feel incapable of intervening I would call APS and tell them what you have told us, and tell them that you are not capable of intervening here. Ask that they open a case and get your mother assessed for possible state guardianship.
I wish you the best, and your Mom as well.
For 10 years my brother and I tried to get her to sell and move tom FL and go in AL. She refused.
We sat back and waited finally she had a slight stroke and was afraid to stay alone at night, she kept calling the EMT's, they finally started charging her $600 per call, well, guess what she decided to move here and in AL.
4 years later, she still loves living in AL, new friends, activities and she doesn't have to lift a finger.
You may have to just wait, something will happen, it always does with the elderly.