My mother has dementia. She’s 86, has help during the day, not at night. ( Live-in help starts May 22, 25).
The problem is that when she gets up at night to go to the bathroom, she is already urinating in her depends. So when she pulls her pants down, everything is getting wet. She removes it and then has to go to bed without anything on because she can’t get her own Depends on. Last night, she wet all of her blankets and sheets and carpet.Is there anything I can do EVEN once the live-in caretaker is there to prevent this from happening? It is really the only thing that my mom does that makes life difficult for her and her caretakers.I’m afraid if I put diapers on her, she will struggle to get them off and at some point they will fail to hold all that she goes.Thank you for any help you can give me.
Generally speaking, when you have a live-in, you also need a relief caregiver. In this case, you could get the relief to come in for an eight-hour (or whatever) shift during which she stays awake to take mom to the bathroom so the live-in can sleep.
The issues you're having with mom's care are why facility care is often better all the way around. My husband is in a memory care facility at present. The care there has been wonderful.
We are in California.
I think my mom is still too “with it” for me to place her in MC just yet.
I don’t think we can afford the live-in AND relief for her too. I offered her time for naps ( free time) during the day so she would be able to help mom at night too. If I could, it would be a great thing to do. Maybe I’ll have to move in at night. 😔
If she is getting up during the night, you may want to consider a sleep aid, or have her live-in help get her to be more active during the day (this worked for my LO).
I hope it goes well with the live-in, but this person should not be expected to be on 24/7 on-call duty or they will burn out. Please consider another hired person to give her a 2-day break. Suggesting based upon the numerous posts by live-in caregivers who only worked on barter for room & board and no cash (mistake) and were expected to be helping all the time (mistake). Also hope this live-in has experience with people with dementia.
Im afraid a sleep aid will just make her woozy and possibly fall. ???
The live-in will have 2 days off a week, and I offered her nap time as well if she needs it.
We have just remodeled her bathroom and have new carpet, fresh paint, furniture, her own fridge and will cover her utilities & food. She will have use of moms 4Runner and all the house.
I am paying her $4,000. A month.
She has been doing this type of work for years. She is 63 & unmarried. But has a boyfriend who is also a caretaker. She’s very Christian and I’m praying big time that this works out. I do not want my sweet mom to live in Memory Care. The few I’ve seen are a far cry from AL.
Thank you for your suggestions. I will try them. :)
Kat
what about a depends and then a pair of period underwear over it?
The diapers will confuse her and I’m not sure they will work any better.
Thank you for taking the time to respond, I appreciate it very much!
Kat~
I did just put extra pads in her Depends.
Thank you!
Kat~
This website is a valuable resource!!
Blessings to you & your mom :)