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I am with you on this. It may happen all the time but it shouldn't. I understood now and then. For some reason it was always the same nightgown for me. I took pictures of everything Mom took into the NH. Even her glasses because more than once the wrong ones were put on her. Any good NH will put the name of the resident in every piece of clothing. I can see socks not coming back. Can u imagine matching up socks? But its pure lazyness not to bring back the clothes the person owns. Its pure lazyness for an aide to put a residents clothes on another person or put them in the wrong closet. This should not be a given. "Oh it happens all the time".

I would check out if there is a resident with the same name or similar. Sorry, I am OCD about this. My Mom had a right to wear her own clothes.
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bcasteel Sep 5, 2021
We had the same problem with mom in law at the "care facility" she was in (alzheimers/dementia). We made lists when she was admitted, we wrote down whatever we took in/took out. Everything was labeled with her name. Socks and shoes had her name on every pair, yet, they were continually taken. We were told that "laundry just couldn't keep track of every pair, therefore, all the socks were put in a "general use" basket - they assured us that she would have socks. There was a Patient Rights document that said that she had the right to keep her own items. Yet, they were everywhere but in her room. It's very frustrating when the staff didn't even care!
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My spouse dressed only in Brooks Brothers shirts and suits. Wore only narrow ties, Borsalino hats and French berets. VERY handsome, but not publicly vain. But very proud to be Harvard grad. He now has dementia. When he went to the live-in facility, we prominently labeled all his clothes. Before long, he was sometimes wearing other clothes, including from other colleges etc., and it upset us. But when we finally realized that he no longer knew the difference, we relaxed about it. His being as content and getting good care as he can be is all that matters.
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When my parents were alive my mother had to be placed into a residential care facility for a little over a year till we could come up with a plan and the financial resources to redo their home and hire a 24 hr caregiver. Somewhere during her horrible struggle with Alzheimers my dad became the object of her rages and she started physically attacking him. It was pure hell on earth for the both of them to be separated from each other. While living at the RF we provided everything for my mom and eventually her clothing started disappearing. My dads solution was to "demand" all her laundry to be placed daily into laundry bags he provided. Everyday when my dad or one of us kids visited we took her laundry home and returned it upon the next visit. Yes it was added work and all of us hated it in the beginning but eventually it just settled into a routine and it wasn't such a big deal. Plus my mother has always had sensitive skin so it allowed us to keep her clothing and bedding separate from all the other residents and allowed us to be certain her things were being laundered with the special detergents we were providing as well. Not only did my mom's stuff stop disappearing but her skin felt and looked better too. And low and behold we weren't having to purchase her detergent so often. We figured the RF staff was using my mom's detergent for everyone's laundry. My parents had 9 of us. I figured with all the laundry my mother had done for all the years she had, doing her laundry was the least I could do for both of them.
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MattDillion Sep 5, 2021
A very thoughtful act!
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I’m assuming your mother is in some type of care home. Have you spoken to the nurse manager or other director of the place and voiced your concerns? Are mom’s clothes labeled with her name?
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The one rehab my Mom was in the closet was shared so the ability of the clothes being confused were there. This didn't happen when Moms NH had a closet for each resident. What would happen is her clothes put in the wrong closet occasionally. I put Moms outfits together on a hanger. Slacks and tops together. If missing something, I looked in the other closets.

For me, this is something to complain about. Your Moms name is in every piece of clothing she has. There is no reason her outfit should be put on another resident. Its lazyness.
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That happened with my mom in the short amount of time she was in a nursing home before she passed. The last time I saw her, I knew the clothes she was wearing were not hers. I chose not to mention it but my dad did. Mom was agitated because she knew they weren't her clothes but the staff had insisted they were.

After mom passed, her clothes were sent home and that outfit was in the box. It was clearly labeled with someone else's name. So this wasn't an issue of mom taking someone's clothing. Staff dressed her and put her in that shirt and slacks. I am wondering if the staff where your mom is staying is putting your mom's clothes on the roommate.
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BurntCaregiver Sep 3, 2021
graygrammie,

When my father was in the nursing home, I wrote his name on the inside of everything with an indelible Sharpie. He always had his own stuff on.
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Is mom in Memory Care or Assisted Living?
How often do you visit?
If mom is in Memory Care it is possible that the staff is responsible for putting moms clothes on the roommate. There are families that do not provide enough clothing so that if the laundry does not come back as it should, a resident could run out of clothing so staff will grab what is handy.
Same applies to Assisted Living.
some suggestions:
1.)You could limit the number of outfits that the facility has at any given time. If you visit once a week provide clothing for a week then take what is there and bring other outfits to exchange.
2.)Rather than buy "new" purchase at resale shops so if an outfit goes missing or is on someone else it is really no big deal. If you plan on taking mom out bring a nice "new" outfit if you wish.
OR
3.)Say the heck with it it really is no big deal in the great scheme of things, there are other more important things to worry about.

I will bet if you are providing incontinent pull ups those are also going to be used on other residents. People run out and they take from the nearest bag that has the size needed. It all evens out. (the only thing I would have a problem with them "sharing" is barrier creams, and ointments.)
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MattDillion Sep 5, 2021
My mom is in a nursing home. She is not in Assisted Living or memory care. They are dressed by aides. I visit several times a week and call daily. There are even photos of roommate on Facebook wearing my moms clothes. The home provides pull ups. It upsets me to see any residents dressed in clothes that should be basically put in the garbage. I find the laziness of the workers very annoying, especially considering the cost of nursing home care!
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I've noticed that clothing seems interchangeable in assisted living facilities. My mother often is wearing clothes I don't recognize when I visit her, and they are clothes she would not have picked for herself. Is this a memory care facility? Your mother's roommate may not remember which are her own clothes. Is your mother upset about this? She also may not remember which are her own clothes. If she's not upset, it's not worth making a big issue out of this. I've found that these facilities are rough on laundry. They wash everything in hot water and I think also a hot dryer. The best clothes are comfortable clothes that are easy to get on and off and can take hot wash & dry.
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My Mothers clothes and personal things were taken all the time. Once her purse was missing. She was in Heart Homes. They would waltz in and out of anybodys' room they felt like. And the only thing I could think was to keep the doors locked. But they wouldn't do it.  It was upsetting.
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My dear friend had multiple hospital/rehab stays. She was always smartly dressed. When she went to the rehab, I selected items that if they did not come back, it would not be a great loss. Additionally, I purchased new comfortable items that could withstand the laundry system. Even though they were properly labeled, I would find her is mystery clothing. She would toss items into the trash basket instead of the laundry basket. Searches of the laundry department were futile. As long as she was properly dressed, she didn't know or care...neither did I.

When she passed, I offered her clothing for the rehab's "clothing closet." When an individual was transferred from a hospital, the staff found appropriate pieces so they were comfortable and not in a hospital gown.
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