My mother's dentist called with concern that my mom has not been receiving any oral care. She lives in ALC. Advice with how to handle this?

Bring in a lawyer why? Because your mother is not properly brushing her teeth, at 95 years old, and you feel it's the ALs responsibility to brush her teeth?? My mother lived in AL for 4 years and NEVER was it written into her care plan that aides would brush her teeth! AL is not designed for such things. Was it discussed with your mom's AL that her teeth be brushed by the staff?

At 95, to have front teeth that "could break off" is not a major concern in my book. All teeth could and will break off at that age, with or w/o meticulous dental hygiene that rarely takes place under any circumstances.

I'd question any dentist wanting to put a 95 year old thru any level of tooth repair on the off chance of breakage. And then I'd go down to the AL and speak to the ED in person. Although, again, unless it was written into moms care plan that she have her teeth brushed daily by the staff, I don't think you'll get very far. My dad was the highest level of care at his AL and didn't have that service included. In Memory Care Assisted Living, my mother got help with her dental hygiene for more than two and a half times the cost of AL.

Good luck.

My mother is 98 and yes losing some teeth, she has few left, she has a top plate, we took her to the dentist to have her plate adjusted as her gums are shrinking.

We asked "Does she need her teeth cleaned" his response was "At 98? No, ...don't put her under any unnecessary stress, she has had enough in her life"!

A lawyer? Surely you gest!

After 90, I think it depends on the individual, how much dental work they will tolerate. The rule I follow is, only do what needs to be done to keep her comfortable. A couple of years ago mom's dentist sold the practice and the new young woman dentist told my mom she needed 5 teeth extracted and referred us to a dental surgeon. The dental surgeon told us that if it was his mother he would only pull them if they were bothering her. So that is what we have done. She gets her teeth cleaned every 3 months because she gets a lot of tartar build-up and she does not do much brushing at home. The last visit, one of the teeth had broken so the dentist pulled it then. It came out easily and there was little pain or bleeding afterwards. I think the frequent cleanings keep her healthier, but if the visits were stressful we would not bother.

I had an aide at the AL tell me Mom would not brush her teeth. I asked if the aide put the paste on the brush and then hand it to Mom? I got "that look", so I knew the aide didn't. If she had done what I asked, Mom would have brushed her teeth.

I would talk to the RN. She is over the aides. It may not be on Moms careplan that aides need to help with dental care. Assisted living is exactly what it has, they assist. Mom's care maybe more than the AL is willing to do.

Um, excuse me, the dental work is likely going to be HUGELY traumatic to your mother at her age and very likely completely unnecessary. It sounds like a giant money grab by the dentist if I may be honest.

Please see this for what it is…. An unnecessary infliction of pain on your mother.

Unless the lawyer will come and brush mom's teeth I can not see what good a lawyer would do.
If Oral care is on her care plan ask to see the documentation that they have been doing the oral care.
They can not "force" mom to comply with oral care so if she is declining it that should also be documented and taken into consideration.
A few Personal Opinion comments from me though.
Is mom in pain? Are there infections currently?
If the answer to both of those are no I probably would not get bent out of shape.
If the dentist is planning on extracting teeth who is going to follow though on Oral care of the wounds that she will have?
Mom is 95 her teeth are probably 85 years old! (give or take a year or two) Even if she was getting oral care 2 times a day her teeth may break off anyway. I am a bit younger than your mom by about 26 years and I have teeth that my break. My dentist cautions me each time I see her.
I would be very cautious of doing extreme dental work

"I am not sure what my next steps should be including whether I should bring in a lawyer." LOL seriously dude, a lawyer?

Your mother's teeth have more issues than not getting a regular once a year dental visit. How is that assisted livings responsibility?

Your mother's teeth did not get damaged to the point where they look like they are about to "break off" because she didn't get her teeth brushed daily.

Adding most dentists are down right scammers. They have bills to pay.

Hopefully you don't get duped into getting a lot of work done on mom. She's 95 for pete's sake. If a tooth breaks then get it pulled and move on. No root canals or veneers at her age.

Why didn't this dentist notice the situation with moms teeth at her yearly visit?

I should have mentioned that teeth brushing is on her care plan.
Thanks

maybe her dentist is looking out for her


maybe her dentist wants money

get a second opinion

other family members? Talk with them

I'll be 87 soon and still get my teeth cleaned 2-3X/year. Rather surprising, really, since I'm a total dental phobic! However, thanks to nitrous oxide, dental insurance and switching to a dentist closer to home, I have been able to maintain pretty good oral health in my old age. I got used to the power water cleaning method used now and still have most of my teeth.