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Is that wrong? I try repeatedly to calm her and talk with her to no avail. Her pattern is to get upset about something, give me the silent treatment for several hours and when I ignore that she begins to cry. While crying she will toss out intermittent nasty comments aimed at me. Often this is brought on when my husband and I are going on a "date night" where she will be left with a caregiver. (An excellent caregiver who she likes very much)


My mother has lived with me for 2 years, I am retired and 65 years old. Mom has a very nice room with a private bath. I am her round the clock caregiver. I manage her meals, showering, toileting, and all activities of daily living. Mom gets to the bathroom with my assistance and a walker only. She is always incontinent. She feeds herself when served food that has been cut-up for her. I do her hair 2 times a week so that she has a "hairdo" which is still very important to her. I take her on a couple of outings a week, even if its just for a ride which she loves. Mom understands most conversation but has aphasia. She is never left alone, she is a severe fall risk and will often forget and try to get up on her own with the walker. I keep a vid cam on her so that I can see her when I can't be in her room. This has saved my sanity.


Most of the time Mom is a sweet little lady who appreciates everything you do for her. But when she gets twisted, usually about 2 times a week, she will carry-on all day. Do I sit and listen to it or do I leave the room? It does no good to talk with her or change the subject. I feel cruel when I leave her crying in her room. Incidentally this is exactly how she fought with my father during their stormy marriage. Sometimes she even slips and calls me by my father's name while in the midst of one these melt downs. I have talked with a gerontologist and he said even with dementia many of their old behaviors never leave them. I would like your opinions!

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If crying is the way she 'fought' with your father, how did your father fight back? Perhaps she is waiting for that response, and the tears might stop quicker if she gets it. Worth thinking about?
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You get her, asap to a geriatric psychiatrist, who can treat her symptoms. You might consider videotaping one of your mom's episodes and keeping a log of how often they happen and what the antecedent (what was going on before) was. You may come up with a pattern.

I think it's really important to get her treatment for this. How awful she must feel!
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