My Mother will not accept anyone else to take care of her even thought she now has Medicaid. She only wants me and threw out a very lovely aide. - AgingCare.com

My Mother will not accept anyone else to take care of her even thought she now has Medicaid. She only wants me and threw out a very lovely aide.

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I signed on to the weekends for now just to calm her down. She wants everything to go back to the was they were before she fell and broke her hip. She has Edema and cellulitis and can hardly walk or lift her legs more than an inch off the floor. She keeps repeating the fact that she wants her assets back and wants to get off medicaid. I keep telling her that she will lose what money she has to pay for the help she gets now. She still has to pay for extra help anyway. She keeps repeating herself. Also there is a person who puts doubts in her head about medicaid because he is after her assets. I have full control, but I feel terrible that she mistrusts me and feels like she has to give away her stuff. I am not sure if this is dementia or if she has this right. She is 93 years old. I don't know how to deal with this. I just tell her when she can take good care of herself and walk and pay her bills and bath herself and get off the chairs herself etc. Then I will give her back her assets. Am I doing the right thing? Does this sound like a person with dementia.

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" mom, I can't do this all by myself. I'm the one who needs help. If I get sick, who will care for you?"
It's worth a try.
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Mickey47 I wish to apologise to You for the answer I made to Your
Question because I was being Judgmental. Please forgive me because this is so out of character for me. I have no right to Judge, and that is NOT what this wonderful Site " AgingCare.com " is about. As Carers and a former Carer now since Our Journey is over We come on Site to Help and Encourage One another and not to Judge or punish. I know You are doing Your very best for Your Mother, and I appreciate it is not easy hence I can only wish You and Your Mother every Blessing, and the greatest peace. JohnJoe.
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Mickey47, sounds like you are using what is called a "therapeutic fib" telling your Mom you would give back her assets if she can take care of herself. You realize that she will never be able to accomplish that, correct?

I don't know if this is dementia. Sounds like your Mom understands the basics of Medicaid, which can be quite complex. She understands that Medicaid can take her assets, thus the reason why she wants to get off Medicaid.

It's not unusual for an elder to refuse a caregiver/aide to be in the house. My Mom was the same way. Nope, never, nada. Of course, our parent only want us to help them as the parent doesn't see us as someone who is also aging with our own age related decline. To my Mom, I was still that 20 or 30 year old who had a ton of energy. NOT !!

Now, who is this person who is putting doubts in your Mom's head about medicaid because he is after her assets?
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Mickey47, having just read Your Post I distinctly noticed the disrespectful way You refer to Your 93 year old Mother as just She or Her. Surely this great Lady Who brought You into this World, and sacrificed so much of Her Life for You deserves to be spoken of as Mother, or Mom, or MaMa. My second point is Your Post became confused from mid way, but You did say that You have got control and that seems to be all that matters.
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I'm a bit confused with what you mean that you'll give her back her assets. Have you taken control of her "assets"? If so, what, and is this to facilitate outside care? Are you doing so pursuant to a DPOA, or other legal authority?
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