My mother and I bought a house together in N.J., she's been living here for 8 yrs. Back in Oct, 2023, she went with my niece to L.I.N.Y., ended up needing surgery on a toe, then rehab. Afterwards my niece took medical and financial POA and put my mother in nursing home. My mother wants to come home and we want her home. She was well cared for and happy. She does not have dementia or Alzheimer's.
What can we do? My mother has made it very clear she does not want to stay there and wants to come home.
Your mother can now rescind those POAs and give them to you.
She needs to call a lawyer to get the ball rolling.
As others have said - a person does not have to have dementia or ALZ in order to need a nursing home. While my FIL DID have dementia/ALZ - that was NOT the reason he went into a nursing home. He went because his PHYSICAL care was more than we could continue to manage in his home. PHYSICALLY he was unable to stay in his home. A nursing home had all of the requirements he needed. The dementia diagnosis in the SNF was secondary.
Are you certain that there are not other reasons why your mother needs to be in a SNF? Have you spent considerable time with her at the nursing home to see what her daily needs are?
NJ is close to LI.....how is it she went to stay with your niece and all these things transpired over the course of 7 months without your involvement or consent???
And why would the mother not come home to her house she co-owns in NJ after rehab . What reason does she need a nursing home ? Why did she go with the niece last year to begin with ? There are puzzle pieces missing to this story .
”doesn’t not”
I think you meant “doesn’t”.
The law is simple: if she doesn’t have dementia, she’s free to leave the nursing home. If she does have dementia, you and her have no power to decide, because your niece has POA. You can go to court (expensive) and try to fight for guardianship, try to take away niece’s POA.
If your mother is still mentally competent and there has not been any diagnosis of dementia then she can still legally make her own decisions. If I were you, I'd get her to a doctor for dementia testing then go from there. One step at a time.
Keep in mind that if your mother is in a nursing home, your neice (the POA) is not benefitting financially from this. The nursing home is taking all of your mother's money and assets. Talk to your niece and ask her why she had your mother placed. Open a line of communication and see what she has to say before you do anything.
If she is of sound mind and can make her own decisions, can you elaborate on the problems you're facing?
We don't know what your mother has told niece about her treatment at your home. We don't know why your mom, if she needed surgery and rehab, didn't come "home" to her home with you before she had the surgery. LI and NJ aren't so far apart that the surgery couldn't have been done in NJ. If I were visiting a relative and needed surgery, I wouldn't have the surgery in their town. I'd go home.
We don't know if she's telling niece one thing and you another.
How do you know mom doesn't have dementia? It certainly seems as if she might. You'd better visit her and reassess the issues.
If not competent - you probably need to get lawyer involved. Was a lawyer involved in writing the POA your mom gave to your niece (and presumably through proper process?).
The lawyer can look through the details of the POA contract. Sometimes the contract may say things like " I would prefer to live in my own home or a home like setting for as long as possible, a facility is a last resort ". somthing like that. The lawyer can then advise on whats possible.
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