My mother suffered a stroke December 2018 while she was living with me. She was only 60, otherwise healthy, but high blood pressure. Since the stroke, the social workers convinced me to obtain public guardianship because they could help with the politics of Medicaid, social security, rehabilitation placement etc. It has now been a year and a half, 6 facilites later, and they have her in a locked unit highly drugged because she has 'Behaviour issues". Her behavior issues are because she wants out. She feels like a caged animal, and it just breaks my heart that what we both thought would be temporary, is now long term. She's only 62, and she wants her life back. Her stroke caused a decrease in cognitive functions so she is unable to make her own decisions hence "incapacitated". But since then I am now being told she also has kidney failure, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and paranoia. They tell me I can't handle her and its better for her to stay in a facility where there is constant care. I don't know what to do. I took the first step to get a bigger house that she could live in if I can figure this out, but I don't know if I pull her out if I could be setting her and myself up for failure, or if she would "get back to normal". But I also feel like I just HAVE to at least try.. I guess I need to see what options there are for at home nurses, or care givers as I work a lot. I do have a lot of family and friends that would help, but I would like to get some input from people that may have done this before. Please.....
And who is reporting the kidney failure, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and paranoia?
It must be torment for you to trying to decide whether her issues and her disabilities are the result of the stroke(s) (with any associated, if unidentified previously, underlying disease) or whether what sounds like shocking, uncoordinated care has exacerbated or contributed to her current condition.
In your place, I think I'd look for a medically qualified advocate for her. You want someone with the clinical and legal competence to review her treatment to date and her current condition and from there, in consultation with you (as her legal guardian), to decide a future care plan wholly on the basis of her best interests.
It may not be in her best interests to live in a family home, not if her mental health and care needs make that inadvisable. But it may be that a different setting from the one she's in at the moment would enable her to be better looked after and enjoy much better quality of life.
She never recovered, her brain was very damaged by the strokes. They are traumatic brain injuries. She became physically violent and verbally brutal to anyone that she felt was a threat or had done something to her. Real or imagined it didn't matter and you could not convince her otherwise.
Please reconsider bringing your mom home. If she had any mental capacity at all she would be able to understand that SHE needs to cooperate with the facility to be released. She obviously doesn't or she would stop being a problem that has to be drugged, believe me, they don't just dope people up. She is behaving irrationally and dangerously to be doped. Can you really deal with this behavior at home?
My mom tried and it was tragic. My grandmother was no longer the same person that she was before the strokes.
Have you told your mom that she needs to get better, that means her behavior, to even consider being released? What does she say? Does she modify her behavior at all? You say it is because she wants out of there, but can she do what is needed to show that she doesn't need to be there?
Once you undo a situation like this it is not easy to redo it. Make sure that you know what you are getting into and make sure you know what it could cost you. Your happy home, your career, your own health, your own wellbeing, are you prepared to give that all up? It is easy to showtime for a phone call or visit, but can she do what is needed to get her way for the long haul?
If you truly believe that she is fine and just acting out because she can't go home then you should hire an independent doctor to review her case file and make a report. This is the best way to find out what has really been going on.
I know that it is so difficult to lose a parent so suddenly. But you have to be realistic about what is happening with her. Get that information from a professional before you decide whether to bring her home or not.
Best of luck, it is a difficult situation.
Once you have given Guardianship to the State (Public) it may be difficult.
Difficult does not mean impossible.
I am sure the Public Guardians are overworked. Judges do want family members to be involved and since this was not a case of abuse or neglect you might have a better chance.
Keep in mind caring for her will NOT be easy. Nor will getting her out of the grasp of the Public Guardians.
As a matter of fact if you know who the Public Guardian is you might even want to talk to them and see what the procedure is.
I suggest you get an evaluation done (independently) before you take this on.
Consult with an Elder Care Attorney for your options. A Family Lawyer might also help but ones specializing in Elder Care see more of this.
No one can make this decision for you.
Stay here. Read. And read and read and read and read.