I live with my mother and she has a heart condition called angina pectoris and I can see her health deteriorating yet she is very stubborn I can't do anything to convince her she needs medication. What can I do ?
If mom does not have memory loss then she chooses her health care. My neighbor suffered for a year with chest pain, sweating and shortness of breath. He had an aversion to doctors that even his wife could not convince him to go to the ER. He had passed with a cardiac arrest.
My aunt was diagnosed with heart failure and chose to not take any meds. She actually asked me to find a way to set up hospice. She pased within a week on her terms.
Speak to her without intense drama and ask her about her final wishes
Tell her that Medicare requires a physical every year to keep her plan. Make an appt. and take her. Act like you are pissed about it too. Sometimes your have to outsmart them.
When the pain of her condition outweighs whatever fear she has of medication, then SHE will beg YOU to take her to the doctor. We all reach a point where we become willing to take arsenic if it promises to provide us with relief from terrible pain.
You also say mom is "scared to go out" which is not something associated with normal "age related decline". Perhaps she's suffering from dementia which affects all logic and judgement in a BIG way.
From the Mayo Clinic: Dementia symptoms vary depending on the cause. Common symptoms include:
Cognitive changes:
Memory loss, which is usually noticed by someone else. Problems communicating or finding words. Trouble with visual and spatial abilities, such as getting lost while driving. Problems with reasoning or problem-solving. Trouble performing complex tasks. Trouble with planning and organizing. Poor coordination and control of movements. Confusion and disorientation.
Psychological changes:
Personality changes. Depression. Anxiety. Agitation. Inappropriate behavior. Being suspicious, known as paranoia. Seeing things that aren't there, known as hallucinations.
My Aunt had angina for decades and lived a normal life to 96, just taking a medication -- as AlvaDeer said it's very treatable.
I also wonder if she's been in to her doctor (cardiologist) lately? What exactly is she worried about/fearful of or misinformed about? I don't think you'll be able to convince her until you know the root of her refusal.
This is quite painful. Does your mother have some dementia or is this just a matter of trying to "tough out" angina? If she is diagnosed, then she HAS seen an MD about her chest pain, if I am right? What medications have been prescribed, and do they work at all for her?
You say that you live with Mom and you observe her failing health. Is it only this diagnosis of angina and its consequent pain that Mom and you are dealing with now, or is there more going on?
I sure do wish your Mom good luck. Angina is quite treatable; it's hard to imagine she would choose the pain unless there is some great underlying inability to understand this process or a great fear of MDs in general.
Hope you will update us. If Mom is competent in her own decisions there is really little you can do for her but tell her there IS relief for her condition and you WILL help her avail herself of it. Meanwhile it will be hard for you to differentiate between angina already diagnosed and impending heart attack, so do educate yourself as to symptoms by a bit of online sleuthing, and be ready to call EMS despite Mom in an emergency; let the EMS team assess her.
Why do think she’s being stubborn about visiting a doctor? Is it fear? When is the last time she went? I would be concerned about her not taking care of herself.
I say this because my family has a history of heart disease and it’s important to see a cardiologist regularly.
Do you think that she would agree to an online visit? My doctor started doing online visits during Covid. I think in some cases she has continued doing them.
She seems to think she is fine. Over a year ago. We moved to another country and she is scared to go out. However she has always been the stubborn type of person who does what she wants.
My aunt was diagnosed with heart failure and chose to not take any meds. She actually asked me to find a way to set up hospice. She pased within a week on her terms.
Speak to her without intense drama and ask her about her final wishes
You also say mom is "scared to go out" which is not something associated with normal "age related decline". Perhaps she's suffering from dementia which affects all logic and judgement in a BIG way.
From the Mayo Clinic:
Dementia symptoms vary depending on the cause. Common symptoms include:
Cognitive changes:
Memory loss, which is usually noticed by someone else.
Problems communicating or finding words.
Trouble with visual and spatial abilities, such as getting lost while driving.
Problems with reasoning or problem-solving.
Trouble performing complex tasks.
Trouble with planning and organizing.
Poor coordination and control of movements.
Confusion and disorientation.
Psychological changes:
Personality changes.
Depression.
Anxiety.
Agitation.
Inappropriate behavior.
Being suspicious, known as paranoia.
Seeing things that aren't there, known as hallucinations.
Best of luck to you and mom.
My Aunt had angina for decades and lived a normal life to 96, just taking a medication -- as AlvaDeer said it's very treatable.
I also wonder if she's been in to her doctor (cardiologist) lately? What exactly is she worried about/fearful of or misinformed about? I don't think you'll be able to convince her until you know the root of her refusal.
Does your mother have some dementia or is this just a matter of trying to "tough out" angina?
If she is diagnosed, then she HAS seen an MD about her chest pain, if I am right?
What medications have been prescribed, and do they work at all for her?
You say that you live with Mom and you observe her failing health.
Is it only this diagnosis of angina and its consequent pain that Mom and you are dealing with now, or is there more going on?
I sure do wish your Mom good luck. Angina is quite treatable; it's hard to imagine she would choose the pain unless there is some great underlying inability to understand this process or a great fear of MDs in general.
Hope you will update us. If Mom is competent in her own decisions there is really little you can do for her but tell her there IS relief for her condition and you WILL help her avail herself of it. Meanwhile it will be hard for you to differentiate between angina already diagnosed and impending heart attack, so do educate yourself as to symptoms by a bit of online sleuthing, and be ready to call EMS despite Mom in an emergency; let the EMS team assess her.
I say this because my family has a history of heart disease and it’s important to see a cardiologist regularly.
Do you think that she would agree to an online visit? My doctor started doing online visits during Covid. I think in some cases she has continued doing them.
Best wishes to you and your mom.