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My mother has vascular dementia with behavioral disturbances. (dr said she thinks it’s probably mixed dementia but was just listing as vascular for now) She has delusions. Her legs and feet were swelling due to cardiac problems and her shoes wouldn’t fit for a while but now with compression stockings, the swelling has gone down enough that she can wear a few of the pairs she has. We have repeatedly tried them on her, she says they fit then a couple days later is back to having “no shoes to wear”. Currently the only thing she will wear are the gripper slipper socks they give you in hospitals. ( although she told the neurologist Monday she (the dr) is so dumb the Dr didn’t KNOW they were shoes. Yep that was a rip roaring visit , hence the behavior disturbances diagnosis lol!)


The AL wants her wearing shoes for safety plus obviously she needs shoes when she goes out. We just tried buying her a new pair but same thing, they fit , she says they fit but an hour, day or week later refuses to wear them and says they don’t fit. We try them back on and the cycle repeats. I don’t think even pretending they are a new pair would help since we have bought her new pairs with the same results.


I know with delusional thinking you can’t argue but how in the world can I get shoes on her lol?

There are slippers that look like shoes. The material gives and you can get some really pretty ones
My MIL used to buy those slip-on canvas shoes were the soles give some. Walmart sells them this time of year.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Why not try to out slippers? As long as they provide some support for the foot, they might be acceptable to the AL and more comfortable for your LO.
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shad250 Apr 17, 2019
She could slip out, no pun, of them.
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Ankle boots?

Their main advantage is that they stay on comfortably without gripping anywhere in particular on your actual foot. Plus they can be easier to slip on/do up, depending on the style. There are some very pretty ones around.
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Reply to Countrymouse
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shad250 Apr 17, 2019
Sweaty feet.
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I know it's extra work and time but since she feels they fit and is good with them each time she "tries them on new" how about just presenting her with a new pair, checking how they fit, each time she needs to go out or walk around in shoes?
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Reply to Lymie61
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Have you tried new shoes in her size but with a 'w' for wide, or maybe a half size bigger?


Just a thought!
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Reply to Shell38314
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Janner, as we get older, I am now in my 70's, and lo and behold I never realized that aging would complicate putting on shoes. But it does. I can't imagine combining that with swelling, and adding dementia to the mix. I even find those gripper slipper socks are big pain to put on, those socks tend to rotate on my foot.

It could be that your Mom just cannot put on her shoes, so that is one reason the Assisted Living finds her walking around shoeless. Have you tried different types of shoes? Wonder if tie-less sneakers would work. Would the Assisted Living accept residents wearing easy to slip on sandals, if said sandals are allowed and the said item would stay on the foot?

Your right, your Mom now has a mind of her own within that journey called dementia. She could be in a child-like stage, and doesn't want to wear shoes.
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Reply to freqflyer
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I would guess that even with the compression hose her feet are swelling and her shoes are getting tighter as she wears them. I have a friend who is only 50 who gets swelling in her legs and if she does not wear her shoes all day she cannot comfortably get them on later in the day.

It could be you Mum's brain is stuck in the time when none of her shoes fit and she cannot get past it.

I am not sure if it is an option, but Dad only wears Croc style footwear now. They stay on, but are nice and wide and very easy to slip on. He has lined ones that are his slippers, no hole ones that he wears outside.
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Reply to Tothill
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