My mother has Alzheimer's and has constant fear that someone is out to scam her. She has accused me and my daughter of stealing her things after she misplaced them and also threatened to call a lawyer to sue me after I suggested we quarantine after coming back from a trip in California earlier this year when Covid was still a new issue. She refuses to assign any POA or create a living will or talk about anything responsible because she thinks I am scamming her constantly. Really annoying since I am doing what I can to help her and she doesn't even have anything to scam from her (no assets whatsoever). Is there a way (a pill perhaps) that anyone knows of that can help calm paranoia in Alzheimer's patients? Thanks.
It was so stressful. No amount of convincing worked with regards to her money. What worked was that she trusted her son (my brother), so I told her that he took care of her money and if she had question about it, she should call him. By that time, she already forgot how to use the phone, so she couldn't call. But at least I avoided having fights with her by passing the ball to my brother.
Her hiding things then accusing people of stealing was something I couldn't do anything about, except try to search for the missing items. This phase lasted a year more or less. I just had to put up with it.
I'm sure her doctor can evaluate her and prescribe something to help calm her down a bit. It can't be fun for her to be so agitated and paranoid.
I think it is very common for ALZ patients to accuse their housemates of stealing from them.
I am sorry to hear that she has not done anything to put her affairs in order. It may be too late now but those documents sure can be nice to have.
Have you done much reading on ALZ? Just thinking of finding ways to cope and deal with her accusations. I would say to not really engage on them. Say some vague response that you have ready for what you know is coming, again, and then change the topic. Be ready. Stay calm. "That wouldn't be very nice of me, would it?" Then ask if she would like to do X. Something she likes that will distract her from her accusations?
Good luck.