My Mother has been giving both of my brother’s money for years. My older brother is 73 and the younger is 61. She called me the other day asking to borrow $2500. She said she spent all her savings getting my younger brother and his son to her home so his son could live with her. I told her she shouldn't allow this nephew to move in with her and she told me I was always so negative. This nephew is also a drug user and sure enough, she made a terrible decision letting him move in with her. My brothers never help her, they are takers. I've tried to tell her the truth about them after all these years, but she has refused to listen to me and now she's again asking for money. I sent it to her, and she said she's pay me back, apparently, she had some work done on her home, the workers gave her one price and when it came time to pay them, they increased the amount. So, she tells me. She lives in a different state, her sons live in CA., and she lives in AR. She doesn't want to get a 2nd mortgage on her house, she's left it to my younger brother. I told her he would never pay the taxes on it and would probably allow his son to move into it after she passes and destroy what little she's left behind. I'm at my wits end with her and truthfully, I can't afford to be loaning her money. We are hardworking people and never ask for handouts from anyone, it seems my brothers and their children never learned how to be responsible. Any advice would be welcome.
It's a fine line though : between bad decisions to being financially exploited.
Regarding money, is Mom making bad decisions in other financial areas? Gambling, not paying bills, applying for credit, too much online shopping? Being ripped off by charities?
Or is she able to manage finances, but just has a weak spot when it comes to these family members?
Are there any health issues that would effect her financial capability? Eg history of stroke, dementia diagnosed?
Some families find once POA has been nominated for finances, the snakes will slither elsewhere.
What does your Mom want to do? She may WANT to 'help' the snakes, which is her choice (bad though it is). Or maybe she doesn't but has no idea how to stop or say no. If so, that's where you could help. A support group like AA for family see this a lot & can help. (Called Al-Alon?)