My mother isn’t trying to get stronger. How do I handle this?

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Yes age and health problems would help. Has she lost a mate larely or any big change. Like moving out of her home to a NH.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Hello,

I don’t have an answer for you but I can offer my sympathy. My mom also is in perfect (almost) health but she is withering away due to inactivity. I’ve had physical therapists come in for strength building often but she doesn’t keep up with her exercises after they go even though there are family members who will come and help her. She argues with me so I don’t try.

It is absolutely a catch-22. I don’t do any exercising because I hate it. I would like to see her be able to do things but she’s so weak there’s nothing for her to do! She won’t even go in the back yard!

I live here with her in her home and we are both housebound because of it. I cannot abide someone who whines and cries for help when they have done nothing to help themselves. Such as not getting up with her alarm. She stays in bed til she’s become so stiff she can’t get up. She knows it’s a problem.

I am tired of yelling at her all the time. I’m tired of her saying: “I know, I know,” then ignoring me. I’m tired of her apologizing to me but still not trying to help herself.

So I backed off and quit trying. I’m still here to help but I don’t push or yell anymore. It doesn’t help a bit! I go around so angry all the time I’m a perfect b*tch!
Imo I’ve given up my entire life to watch her deteriate in front of my eyes!

Theres no one else to take my place and frankly, I have nowhere else to be, but the idea of a nh is unlikely because she has no ailments except for controlled diabetes.

I have always said that I am not medically equipped to take care of her when she gets bad so I guess we are just waiting til she gets really sick.

I do understand. Why bother to get up when there’s no reason to, but if she got stronger we could find something to do! We don’t have a car and there’s no one who takes her out except for doctors apptments. So is it my fault that we can’t afford a car to do things? It may be,I guess, but there’s no help for it. She only has MediCare and won’t qualify for Medicaid til she’s bed ridden so there’s no pay for my services which would make the diffrence for that.
In the meantime, I’m trying to keep it cool. What’s the point of being here if I’m not making her life more pleasant?

charlotte
PS: I would like to get her just to move with music together and I do offer to take her for walks even in her wheel chair but the only time she agrees is spontaneously she’s ready when I have 90 things around the house I’m doing! I won’t begin on what a burden her “home” is to me trying to keep it up with repairs and yard work. That’s all my life is: WORK! While she sits alone and diminishes day by day
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Reply to CharK60
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Are you sure this is a realistic expectation at this point? Can you tell us a little about your mother?
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Reply to cwillie
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