My mother has been a single mother for all my life, she drove off all the men in her life with her narcissistic attitude and her violent outbursts and constant alcoholism, she also never exercised in the whole time I lived with her and so she was overweight. She claimed that she gave up her sex life to have my sister and I and blames us for her lack of good looks, not her beer or cigarettes. Growing up, my twin sister and I were hit on a regular basis, not in a constructive healthy way (if that's even a thing, I don't believe in having to hit children), and she used gaslighting and mental abuse daily to get what she wanted or to just hurt my sister and I. She created a divide between my sister and I by purposefully favoring her more than me and making me the scapegoat for every issue in her life, even things I had no part in. I had thought about suicide since I was young, maybe 13, because she encourages it with her actions and abuse. She broke up all my friendship and relationships with other to isolate me at home and to stay in control, she could never bear me to be happy or have achievements of my own. I finally escaped when I went off to college at age 18. I am now 22 years old, graduating college in a week, accomplishing a bachelors degree in 3.5 years. I never had any financial help over the years from my mother for college. In fact, she has been demanding money from me since she forced me to get a job at 16. She used to steal every paycheck from me until I left for college, and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it because I didn't have a bank account and had to sign my checks over to her. If I didn't work and giver he my paychecks then she threatened to kick me out of the house, and did twice before, once on Christmas for 5 days.
She has never apologized for any of this and to this day calls me evil and ungrateful for treating a "perfect and giving" mother like her like I do. I have been estranged from her since leaving for college at 18 for my own health and well-being. She found out recently there is a cyst on one of her ovaries and now insists that my sister and I quit college in our senior years, our jobs, our relationships (I'm engaged now), and travel 15 hours to her to take care of her every need and take care of her pets and clean and cook for her as she "recovers from her surgery". She has never asked in the entire time while I've been away at college if I had enough money for school, or to feed myself, or if I had anywhere to stay on the holidays, or even checked in to see if I was alive. Now she's on bed rest and using her dogs (one that I still love dearly after not seeing him for years) as a tool to guilt me for not quitting my life to take care of her. She has quit every job in her life that she's had and is always always in need of money and thinks her college-age children should giver her all of our hard-earned money because we owe it to her. She's even demanded we go into credit card debt to give her money, she simply doesn't care for her daughters.
I feel bad for her predicament, as you would for a stranger, but she is a horribly evil, narcissistic, and unstable woman and honestly deserves everything happening to her. Do any of you think I'm absolutely obligated to drop my life and care for her? I'd be broke very soon and severely depressed.