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My mother is revoking my brother from being POA since they lied to her about a lot of things and tricked her to having him be POA. My mother is going to have my father and I take over. She is in a nursing home and has early signs of dementia. I want to care for her full time. How soon can I take her out of the nursing home. She was just recently put in there.

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It looks like to me you are a professional aide, LPN or RN if you care for ALZ patients. So you are perfectly aware of what goes into caring for someone with Denentia. Actually you and Dad can be co-POAs. The lawyer you have should be able to help you decide the best way to do this. As soon as Mom signs those papers, brothers POA will be revoked. Financial POA usually says "this POA revokes all others" or something like that.

You should be able to get Mom discharged shortly after the new POA goes into effect. It may not be that day because you need to allow the NH to do their thing. If you paid for the month, don't expect a refund. NHs are residences and work like anything else considered a residence. You can ask, but don't be. Surprised if your told no.

Good Luck and update us on how it works out. We learn from others experiences.
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If your mom has health issues serious enough to “put” her in a nursing home, she needs to be there. There are rigorous qualifications that people must meet before being admitted. Prospective residents are evaluated, and if they don’t meet the standards for this level of professional care, they are rejected. That’s why I roll my eyes and treat with skepticism the claims on this site that mom, dad or great-aunt Mavis was “PUT” IN A NURSING HOME AND WE HAVE TO GET HER OUT!

Before you take mom to your house for care, check out what modifications you’ll need to make to keep her safe. Grab bars, toilet height, ramps if she can’t climb stairs. Transfers in and out of bed, car, bus, chairs, and the right kind of wheelchair too. Hoyer lift and how to operate it. Hospital bed for ease in raising and lowering her to change her diapers. A walker or rollator if needed. Where will you store the used Depends until garbage day? Are your doorways wide enough for wheelchair access to bathroom? Shower?

If caring for her at home becomes too exhausting for you, be sure that you can “put” mom back in a decent nursing home where she’ll again have a 24/7 team to help her.

Please keep in touch. I wish you well and am interested in how this will play out.
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Firstly only ONE of you should be POA with the other being a "second".
Secondly the ATTORNEY will help you with your question, as will the admin at the facility.
You say that your mother has "some dementia". People with dementia CAN make a POA IF THEY FULLY can explain to an attorney that they fully understand what they are doing, you they are taking POA from, and why. BUT THIS MUST NOW BE DONE BY AN ATTORNEY. One will visit her facility with you or you can take her on an outing to said attorney.

IF you attempt this without an attorney the following will happen. Brother will take you to court to say that you pulled some piece of paper offline and forced a DEMENTED WOMAN TO SIGN IT and are kidnapping her from the care she needs and deserves because you are money grubbing whatevers and so on. He is very likely to win because you mother gave him, willingly, when she was NOT demented POA.

So, first step. Off you go to see an attorney to discuss this complicated case.
You are looking at close to three grand here.
If you are accepting of giving care, likely to TWO parents on a downward trajectory, and are fully capable of it, fully understand the fiduciary rights, obligations of Power of Attorney for your state, how to keep the records and etc, then you MAY accomplish this.
But this won't be easy.
Wish you good luck if this is in the interest of all. Hope you will update us. BUT I caution you, your mother was put in care for a GOOD REASON. Consider it carefully or you are walking into a crucible that could go on for many years.
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How was she admitted to nursing home?

I am only familiar with NYS regulations. If your mother hasn't been deemed incompetent and can change the POA with an attorney then the brothers POA shouldn't have been in effect. Your mother could have been her own advocate and been discharged with evidence that she had sufficient at home care. The nursing home can't prevent a competent and non medical nessesity discharge without major evidence that it is an unsafe discharge.

Therefore, when you present evidence that your father and you are POA then an immediate discharge plan should go into effect.
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Yes and I take care of people everyday with Alzheimer’s and dementia so I’m aware of what they go through every day. My mother has already seen a doctor and said she is fine for now and no concerns with her memory. As for my parents I would care for them til there last breath. As for a lawyer I already talked to a lawyer.
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Geaton777 Mar 13, 2025
So you didn't go to the exam with your Mom to see her perform on the test? Do you have access to her medical records to see her actual diagnosis? It is not uncommon for elders to tell things to people that is not correct, or to lie to cover up a truth that is embarrassing or life-changing to them. If you already talked to a certified elder law attorney, what did s/he say? If you talked to a lawyer then why are you here asking us this question? Just trying to get more context about your situation. In my experiences with PoA, the new assignee is in place the minute the paperwork is finalized in front of a notary and 2 non-family witnesses. Then, unless your Mom specifies something different, the PoA becomes active when she gets a formal diagnosis of incapacity. If you don't think your Mom is incapacitated then she can have you help her move out today. I would put effort into finding out if she has an actual diagnosis in her medical records.
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If your Mother has "the beginnings" of dementia it may actually mean she already has moderate dementia if you are seeing behaviors and memory loss daily. She will need to be assessed by a certified elder law attorney for capacity and to determine if she's being coerced into changing her PoA. A person can have some memory loss but and still have capacity, but the attorney will determin this. I would not recommend the online DIY PoA pathway since this may easily be contested by your brother. If your Mom already has a diagnosis of incapacity in her medical charts, she probably won't legally be able to assign a new PoA. People with dementia often have delusions and make up confabulations. Paranoia can also happen. How do you know that your Mom was "tricked"? Maybe your brother thought this was appropriate care for her? Have you asked your brother to allow you and your Father to care for her in their home? Be careful what you ask for... soon you may have 2 needy adults to care for 24/7 and your brother probably won't help you. Please read the copious posts on this forum about caregiver burnout. Have you done any research to learn how her dementia will progress and the changes in her behaviors that will make every day very stressful for everyone in the house? She may be cooperative now, but that can very easily change. Also, what if she goes to your brother and tells him she wants to change her PoA because she was "tricked"? Please go into this with your eyes wide open...
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