She is afraid, I ask her why or what and she says she doesn't want to be alone. I have her living with me presently but she still becomes afraid...some days worst than others. I talk positively to her and assure her everything is OK. It passes and she's OK until it happens again. Her primary care doctor says medically she's healthy but she's in the beginning stages of dementia....forgets current things but the past is repeated over and over. My siblings and I have thought of an ALF for her so that she can focus on activities, other people, events and entertainment....since the COVID 19 her life has been upside down....any suggestions appreciated.
I found it very helpful to get as educated as possible about dementia and decline. There are very insightful books and I've been viewing the Teepa Snow videos on YouTube (there are many and are quite informative, and not dry -- Teepa is pretty lively).
If you haven't already, make sure your mom has assigned a durable PoA (or more than one if she likes) and has all her legal and health-related directives in place. Once her dementia progresses this won't be possible. If she doesn't assign a legal advocate it will make the challenging job of managing her care needlessly more difficult.
Once this is in place and if you haven't already, have her doctor give her an actual cognitive exam (it usually involves answering specific questions about who is president, what day is it, drawing a picture of a clock, copying another picture, and given words to remember then repeating them back to the doc a few minutes later.) If this isn't the test given, find another doctor. At this appointment her medial PoA and she can discuss her anxiety. Many on this forum have LOs w/dementia who are on meds for anxiety, mood, aggression, etc. They often help a lot.
Just a heads-up to try not to have expectations or romanticize certain things. Very often adult children think parents can really benefit or even enjoy living in a facility. And even in very nice places, they don't. But caregiving needs to work for both parties: your mom and her caregiver(s). Burnout is a real thing and not healthy for either. Right now with covid, it may be best to keep her out until the bulk of the sickness passes or they have better treatments or a vaccine. My MIL is 85 and in a facility. No underlying issues, just age. She got it and was super sick for 4 weeks, then recovered completely. We haven't seen her in person since the lockdown in mid-March. We are scheduled to see her outside and 6 feet apart next week.
Caregiving for someone with dementia is a journey that can change daily and test your patience and creativity. This forum is extremely helpful and packed with cohorts who are on the same journey and many who have been through it more than once. I wish you all the best and for peace in your heart as you travel the path!
He is living in his own home where he wants to be and has 24 7 Care.
He doesn't want to be alone.
You might try keeping the TV or music on when they are by themselves.
I just always remind my Dad that he will never be left by himself or tell him that a Caregiver will always be there.
I also installed cameras so I can check in any time.
You might use the baby cams where you can here if they are scared and talk to them instead of going in to the room.
Does the fear that she has come at any time or at a particular time of day? This might be like Sundowning. Changing the lighting in the room, switching to LED lights might help. Close blinds or curtains to keep out shadows and to keep the windows from looking more like mirrors to her might help if this is the cause.
This is also the time that you should be thinking about the next steps you and your family will take.
Will she continue to live with you? Will you become full time caregiver? Will you place her in Memory Care?