My mother is mentally unstable and coercing money out of my 87 year old grandmother. What can I do? -

My mother is mentally unstable and coercing money out of my 87 year old grandmother. What can I do?


My 60 year old mother has been willfully unemployed for the last 10 years and has been in/out of the hospital and rehab for RX drug and alcohol abuse along with various other health issues due to poor self care. She refuses to allow anyone to see her medical information and for some reason the doctors have not committed her. All of this going on and she takes $2,000 a month from my 87 year old grandmother who is defenseless to say no. I feel like my mother is using her and this is elderly abuse. What can I do legally to stop this from happening and get my grandmother some type of protection emotionally and financially? My mother has partial ownership of my grandmother's home and is currently executor of the Will. I have POA.



Like JoAnn says, you need to grab the reigns to Grandma’s accounts right now. Give her a small allowance so she doesn’t feel totally destitute and lock up her accounts. If mom has debit cards or joint charge cards, those need to be cancelled. Get a safe deposit box for any other assets she may have such as stock certificates, jewelry, etc. Mom may pilfer the small pittance you give grandma as well,  but if it’s not that much, Mom may feel it’s not worth the hassle.  $2,00o is an exorbitant amount for rent or “caregiving”. Tell mom you’re on to her game and to find another “cash cow”. 
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Ahmijoy

Is your grandma of sound mind or does she have dementia?

If she's mentally OK, and she WANTS to give your mom (her daughter) the money, there's nothing you can do.

If she's mentally OK but DOESN'T want to give it but feels guilty or selfish or is being bullied to give it, you can contact Adult Protective Services and they can make sure your mom has no access to her accounts.

If your grandma has dementia or is otherwise decleared incompetent, you would have control of her accounts.

How does your mom GET the money? Does she have an ATM card or does grandma go with her to the bank?

Why would she have access to the money?
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to SueC1957

You have POA so see if you can take her off Gmas account.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to JoAnn29

What is your grandmother's financial status? Can she afford these payments without jeopardizing her own future financial stability?

What is this payment "for"? Is it, for example, "rent" for living in a house that is partially owned by your mother? Is it payment for "care" services? If it is simply a gift with no justification, it would create a penalty if Grandma ever needs to apply for Medicaid. Is that a possibility, or is Grandma's financial future secure?

Is GM likely to tell APS that she doesn't really want to give her daughter money but she feels coerced?
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to jeannegibbs

Dear ragancrosgers123,

Sorry to hear of this difficult family situation. If you are concerned about any type of elder abuse, I would start with Adult Protective Services. I hope a social worker can give you your full options. I don't know if an elder law attorney might be able to offer some assistance as well.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to cdnreader