My husband & I retired last year and moved down the street from my parents. Our home for the past 23 years sold quickly & our plans to build went out the window. With a closing date on our old house looming overhead, the prospect of moving twice was very unappealing. We ended up buying a house just seven houses down. We moved here for a variety of reasons - the lakes, the taxes are much cheaper, housing is a little cheaper and I would be close to my aging parents (early 80's). They are active & self sufficient but things can change quickly so we thought it best not to be two hours away. Since we moved, my mother especially has acted like I am supposed to spend all my time with her. It has taken me a while to get to this point but I have managed to reduce dinners to a couple of times a week. In the beginning I felt like I was supposed to invite them over whenever I cooked a meal or invite them to go with us whenever we ate out. Quite honestly, I don't like to spend that kind of time with anybody. My mother is rather picky as is my husband when it comes to food. Trying to find a restaurant that pleases them both was frustrating, to say the least. Sometimes I would rather not eat that have to deal with that. I'm used to my husband's picky ways but I don't want to have to deal with another one. We go to the casinos that are about an hour and a half away about once a month. We usually go together but have to do things on their time schedule. They have a dog that gets insulin twice a day. So we cannot go before 10 and we have to get back by 10 as well. At first it wasn't a big deal but it has become one. They don't like to partake of the free casino food, so we have to stop along the way & eat. We used to like to go & spend the night. If we try to do something they really can't do, my mother gets mad & pouts for an extended period of time. As a matter of fact, she was mad at another family member this past weekend and when she gets like that, she's mad at the world. I just stay away from her. Since she was in the state of mind, my husband suggested later that afternoon we sneak off to the casino since she probably wouldn't be calling. How funny, I said, we are both in our 60's, but we are sneaking around like a couple of teenagers up to no good. About 10 that night my dad called my husband. He didn't answer because he didn't want to let on like we were at the casino because it would make my mother even madder that we would dare to go without her. She once refused to speak to me for a few weeks upon learning I went to the casino with my friends without her. That was years ago. Anyway, my mother began calling me & leaving voicemails. I finally called her back because I was worried that something might be wrong but that wasn't it at all. It was something my dad wanted to say to my husband about an upcoming poker tourney & it could have waited. My mother was upset that I didn't ask her to go but I said it was spur of the moment and we didn't even get there until nearly 6 pm. She tried to act like it wasn't a big deal but she called me a dumb ass at least twice in the conversation & reminded me she could have gone & my dad could have stayed home with the dog. My problems are many with my mother & I know I should do what my brothers do & essentially ignore her & live my life. Through the years she has placed such a huge burden on me. Every holiday was spent hosting some family event because if the calendar said holiday, they would come into town. I'm not just talking Thanksgiving & Christmas. Birthdays, Memorial Day, 4th of July, Labor Day ... My brothers & their families would give them a few hours of their time but I didn't have that luxury. My holidays were tied up practically from the time I got home from work until it was time to go back to work after the holiday. I am very resentful & conflicted. I love my parents to pieces but I resent them, too. My husband & I have always been very self sufficient. I've never asked them for money or help of any kind. Yet they both want to weigh in even on our financial decisions. Help!