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She has dementia and does not remember us most of the time. We placed her in the nursing home because she was not sleeping, she was going out in the middle of the night, she became combatant, refused to take meds, it just got to be a bad situation all the way around so we had her placed in a nursing home. Now they want to send her home. What do I do?

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What?! Wait a minute. Mom has dementia. She becomes combative. She was wandering. You placed her because you couldn’t keep her safe at home or care for her with her needs. What’s to say that when and if she comes home the same thing won’t happen? Nursing homes do more than monitor medications. They have round the clock, trained staff to keep their residents safe, clean, comfortable and fed. What does fhe facility’s doctor say?

You need to call a Care Conference with these people and find out what’s going on. It’s your right to meet with them as often as you need to. Insist the Director of Nursing, the social worker, the administrator, one of her aides and the floor nurse (if possible) be there. You need to find out what’s going on. Please let us know what you find out.
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That's what they told me yesterday at the Care Management conference and I was with the social worker and this is what she told me so that's why I'm confused because I can't take care of her she doesn't want to live with me.
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Ahmijoy Aug 2018
If she’s on Medicaid, she isnt private pay. Medicaid takes her Social Security check and they pay for the facility from that. Maybe appeal to them about discharging her. Medicaid had to approve her admission as well. She needs to be on medications to control her dementia, even if the dementia itself isn’t a reason for her to be in the facility—which is beyond me.

So, it doesn’t matter that you can’t take care of her—that she’s a danger to herself and to others? They’d send her home anyway? They would actually release her to an unsafe environment where people are afraid to be around her, where she could hurt herself or someone else? Where she doesn’t want to be. Wow.
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Her Dementia should be a good reason for her to be there. Call the Social Worker and tell her you are not able to care for Mom in your home. That with her Dementia she needs to stay where she is. I'd like to know the reasoning behind the release other than meds. Are you private pay? Will Medicaid be needed in the future?
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Lauri1 Aug 2018
She's she's already on Medicaid and then we private pay with all of her social security but I was just on the Department of Aging and disabilities website and in Texas yes they can send her home if her being in the nursing home is not deemed medically necessary and dementia isn't considered medically necessary.
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Lauri,
Yes in Tx there must be a medical necessity. But there had to have been a medical necessity that got her admitted into the Nursing Home. Was she admitted for rehab? Is she not making any progress with the rehab?

What ever the reason they are wanting to release her, contact Moms Dr. Get him on board. Call him today. Get him to work on the Medical necessity issue!
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Lauri1 Aug 2018
She she was admitted because she became a danger to herself and to us
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It's important to distinguish a nursing home from an assisted living facility, some of which specialize in caring for dementia residents. Nursing homes are for those requiring skilled nursing care, such as wound care. If she was in the nursing because she needed skilled nursing care and no longer does, it is common that they will discharge her, even though she can't care for herself. Look for an assisted living facility that specializes in caring for persons with dimentia.
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