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She has been in hospice care with me in my home for the past month and a half going down a little every day. I need to give her pain medication so the pain will not kick in but she will not respond to me. She becomes upset when I awaken her and if I touch her she has pain our nurse said that is because she’s not high enough pain medication.

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Maybe she doesn't need the pain meds anymore, my father closed his eyes, was breathing and passed soon thereafter, he was ready to go, it was his time. He was in Hospice, the nurse told me that the last thing to go was the hearing and when I was ready to let him go I should tell him, I did and he passed.
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Katlew23 Jul 6, 2019
Thanks for your response I so hope my mom can transition sooner than later this is her worst nightmare mine to!! Each time she reawakens she is upset that she still here
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Contact Hospice.
Medications can be changed to oral liquid that can be placed between the cheek and gums or under the tongue.
It might be possible that some of the medications could be discontinued if your Mom has reached the point where they will not benefit her.
If the nurse does not understand that she will not take the medication I would advise you to contact Hospice and talk to a supervisor and explain the situation. Another way you might do this is if you have CNA that is visiting tell them and they will make note of it in the record so that the team is aware of the change. This is an indication of a decline that needs to be documented.
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Katlew23 Jul 6, 2019
Thanks so much for your response Hospice is on their way back over with another visiting nurse who will do some assessment and hopefully even recommend the fentanyl patch
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Yes, her meds will have to be given a different way. Your Mom may not even be able to swallow. I would say she is near the end. Don't allow the nurse to leave without giving you a different way of giving meds. Their job is to keep Mom comfortable and pain free.
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Katlew23 Jul 8, 2019
Things are going fairly smoothly she is on liquid morphine with antianxiety my challenge now is to make sure I have care help so I can change her bedding. I can no longer run her by myself as she has stopped responding
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She is in hospice in your home? Why is the hospice not addressing this? This is what they DO. It is time for medication to be administered by intravenous now, if this is about pain. It may not be about pain. It is no joke that old ancient saying of the dying that "he turned his face to the wall". They do disconnect from the living. They are going to another place, and no matter how close to you, it is almost a drugged state. I have seen many die. They often state in this drugged twilight, and families are so disconcerted that they do not want to come back from it. Seeing the dying for my entire career of being a nurse has made me a person who fears death NOT AT ALL. I do fear suffering. If you are seeing no physical signs of pain there may not be any. In any case she must go to in facility hospice now if that is required for meds; many can give in home. And there are patches with fentanyl and other things that will control pain, but of course make her even further out of reach. So sorry. This is a tough time. I think hospice is not what it once was. It was so much care. Now they pop in and are gone like a visiting nurse.
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Katlew23 Jul 6, 2019
Thanks for your response yes Hospice has been very helpful and they are on their way back out to do another reassessment hopefully we will be getting the fentanyl patch as well
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Sorry you’re going through this...please call the nurse for liquid pain medication. My mom got it through an eye dropper type application when her breathing became labored, which they said was an indicator of pain.
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Katlew23 Jul 6, 2019
Thanks rocketcat for your response and nurse is on her way over to help do another reassessment my Hospice has been very helpful, I need to get the Spohn sticks from them and also hopefully prescription for the fentanyl patch
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Thank you everyone for your wonderful support it was very helpful. My mom passed away this morning peacefully thank God she now has her wings to soar ❤️
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Have you contacted hospice for help and understanding? These are the situations that you have hospice for, so you aren't figuring it out on your own.

Did hospice not give you liquid meds? If not, request that they send some.

Does she appear to be in pain? If not I would not be giving her anything, let hospice determine what she needs at this point.

Mostly, I am sorry you are going through this difficult journey. Use hospice and all they offer for you and mom, it will help you. Hugs!

May God grant you grieving mercies and strength during this time. It is difficult to watch someone pass from this world when we feel helpless, may you find a strong arm to comfort you.
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Katlew23 Jul 6, 2019
Thank you for your kind response Hospice is on their way back over they have been wonderful it’s just every day something more drastic declines and we have to continue to reassess. I’m hoping for the fentanyl patch and I’m asking for the sponge sticks. Strength, calm and love is getting us through...
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Hi everyone Hospice has been fantastic with my mom we have continuous care for almost a week now. my mothers time is eminent and it’s a relief to know that her pain is under control. We are playing some of her favorite tunes and watching TV it’s definitely the twilight zone and it will be sweet relief when she finally gets her wings.
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SueC1957 Jul 14, 2019
It sounds like you are holding up better than most. It so hard, knowing the end is coming and waiting for it. It’s sort of like a constant anxiety state or being on high alert.

Great to hear that hospice has been actively helping you physically with your mom. It’s not a one man job to give care to a non-responsive person.

Hearing is (supposedly) the last sense to go so, if you want to express yourself to her, you should.

May your mom pass peacefully and without pain or anxiety. You both will be relieved when her body rests and her spirit soars.

I lost my mom in March. You will be in my thoughts.
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Hugs! May mom soar high and may God grant you grieving mercies and strength during this time.
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Katlew23 Jul 21, 2019
Thank You 🌺🌺🌺
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Is there someone with you at your home OP? You are being wonderful for your mom. Ask your hospice if you could have some personal support for yourself.

We we are all here with you.
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Katlew23 Jul 21, 2019
Thank you, my husband is here and my daughter was here when my mom died. I am also adopting her dog and it’s like having a piece of her here with me they’ve been together for 14 years he’s a cute little rascal a mini schnauzer. The loss is extreme but the relief as a gift , they’ll be building my life ...I teach Students who have special needs so I’ll be going back to work August 5 and I know that’s gonna be a big help. 🥰
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