what can I do if i think my mother is being manipulated by my sisiter who has given her drugs she doesnt need. She has taken total control. my sister has been convicted of home care fraud and i feel she is trying to hurt my mother because she doesn't want us around, my mom doesnt want to see whats happening
should I push to see my mum or should I back off to avoid up setting her. I try to tell myself to get on with it and that mum has just become a nasty old lady, but my head tells me she is being manipulated, if I challenge the situation I risk upsetting her and possiibly a heart attack at this age, what do i do how do i stand legally anyone know
Be prepared for the consequences and have someone else take over the care of your mother.
Good luck once again,
Types of fraud and abuse vary from emotional abuse which can be often undetected to inflicting physical harm on an elderly person. There are however several things you can do to prevent fraud and abuse for a loved one who has home care services brought into their home. Those activities include the following:
The first line of defense in preventing elder abuse is having a strong and open communication between you and your loved one. Check in regularly with him/her about the care they are receiving. Make it known and clear to the careprovider (your sister) that you are involved. Ask to be updated often when conditions change. Also, some individuals are now installing in home camera monitoring devices to watch the daily activities in the home of their loved one. You can even monitor activities from your laptop at home. When monitoring activities it’s important to be aware of signs of abuse. These signs may include the following:
* Communication shut down by the elder
* Lack of interest by the elder. Lethargy.
* Issues with personal hygiene
* Weight loss/weight gain
* Unexplained and re occurring bruises and injuries
* Dirty House
In addition to protecting your loved one against emotional and physical abuse it’s also important to protect them financially from fraud. Some helpful tips are:
* Keep a safe in the house for personal records and valuables..or use a safe deposit box.
* Make sure mail is only collected by someone you trust or set up a P.O. Box that only you can access if you are within driving distance of the elder.
* Check Bills for spikes in charges.
* Set up fraud protection/flags with the banks and credit cards your elder uses to flag unusual charges.
I realize that much of this may seem quite powerful-however for your Mom's sake it may be worth it-for her protection.
By the way do you have POA over her health and financial matters-if not-you may want to see if this has been done/ and legally filed.
1. Get your mother to a Geriatric Doctor for a complete physical ASAP. You do not have to explain to anyone why. Just say you are concerned about your mom because she seems (depressed, lethargic, underweight, overly tired, etc)
2. Since you are not your mom's guardian or conservator, you may not get the results of the physical without your mom's consent but that is not a problem. The doctor is obligated by law to report any suspicious findings like unusual drug traces in her blood or urin, and will probably ask her or you or your sister what medications she is currently taking.
3. Do not say anything to the doctor about your suspicions regarding your sister. Just keep insisting that your mother is "not herself lately" and you are worried that her health is failing or she needs more skilled care than you or your sister can provide (Is your sister an RN?)
Best of luck.
The first thing is Document/record everything, use phone conversations, write down medications etc.).
I feel we on this blog are not going to hear everything we would need to hear to help you. Contact your states Elder Care Department or Hotline, Department of Aging. An intermediary would probably help you. If there is the possibility of your mothers health is in danger contact local authorities. You allegation your sibling was convicted of home care fraud might suggest to to a judge that your mothers care may be compromised. Again we need to hear a lot more than just what you wrote in one sentence. Get someone from your States Aging Department to help you.