My mother is 96-years-old and sleeps a great deal during the day, and isn't eating very much. Is this normal?

My 84 year mom sleeps all day and night, urinates in bed and eats less. Should I force her to get up and eat, remind her to use bathroom? She is able to walk and eat, even engages in limited conversations

my mom is 81 had 2 falls in 6 months 2 surgeries, an has been back and forth to 4 different hospitals and a awful rehabilitation center which we decided to take her out of and take care of her ourselves...there are 4 of us and with her attitude and disposition it gets very hard to take care of her she is doing a lot better than she was but we have to constantly push her she gets up to sit in her recliner but asks to go back to baed in a hour or so my sister and brother argur over whether we should keep her up or make her happy and let her go back to bed which I know isn't healthy for her.....should we give her what she wants and let her be happy or do what's best for her and keep her up and moving???

My mom sleeps a lot during the day as well. Her appetite has decreased a whole lot, even the things that she really likes that I make for her. When I take her outside to her garden she constantly asks to go in, I just ignore her and keep on working in the yard. I figure she wears herself out by asking over and over besides there are things that need to be done out there.

I adhere to the idea of their body, mind, and spirit just being tired. This makes sense to me. My mom is 90.

Since her health has worsen she's become more difficult, matter of fact she bit me yesterday. So now when she's sleep I kind of think of it as a rest for me.

My mother is 73 we lost my dad in 2010 they were married for 32 years and she has not worked since 1985 and now she lives with me and my husband, I am the youngest of 9 and dont mind her company however she does not want to do anything but watch tv and sleep most of the day, she is a early riser most of the time (7am) but by 11 she wants to do nothing but sleep she says she was watching the tv but i ask her things about the show and she makes up things. she will sleep off and all through out the day and gets on the computer to play games so is this normal or should I be worried shes depressed or getting demcitia? She also has really cut my other siblings out of her life and will not invite them or over even want to talk to them on the phone..... Any answers will be appericated.

Loving my mom

My Grandmother is 86 and has been spiraling downwards in health and will to go on ever since the loss of her two youngest sons around 7 years ago. She had a car accident that was clearly her fault about 6 months after her 2nd loss which was only about a year after the first son died. She just bolted out into an intersection during a red light stop she was at...she claims it changed to green...that is where her depression snowballed. Being the "chief enabler" of a highly dysfunctional family of 6 children whom she completely destroyed their chances at any kind of normal adult life by trying to over compensate due to her x husbands extreme physical and mental abuse on the entire family. Because she felt that his abuse was her fault she wouldn't allow the kids to be held accountable for any wrong behavior, drug abuse yadda yadda...same ol story. So after nearly killing herself to care for all six after her divorce, the two youngest deaths from alcohol and drug abuse that she funded, made excuses for and over looked in denial..had now been a very surreal slap in the face as to her part in these deaths...she had always been a very devote christian pure lady...and she lost all faith, and started losing touch with reality. Now, all remaining 4 children have deserted her, while all 4 are very much unable to physically care for her not one even calls to see how she is. She was the most selfless kind loving woman you could meet...now after 2 yrs of jumping from nursing home to skilled living and back...complaining of being mistreated and neglected in each place, I her oldest grand daughter who is also VERY highly disabled mentally and emotionally due to my mothers abuse and neglect and drug use during the pregnancy yadda yadda...has came home to step up to care for her to the end...which at this rate could go either way as to who will go first of us 2 because im in pretty bad health and am killing myself to do this with no help at all. Its only been since late May but it's been 24 hrs a day since and she cant walk, stand, or even turn from side to side to allow me some assistance in changing her diapers...and I am 100% positive that it's depression that is her #1 disease right now. But she was always there for me when i was a lil girl, when my mom would abuse me so bad I couldnt take it anymore she would come save me and love me in her place...so I told her when I still was learning to talk that when she got old and couldn't care for herself anymore that I would be there for her...And here I am. Maybe not qualified but definitely willing to do what ever I have to.:)
Thanks for such a great resource for us...funny how we always think there cant be any one else in our situation because it's the worse ever...:( Thanks

Let her sleep! This is totally normal...do you realize how exhausting it must be to live a century and then be expected to "act normally" by your children and younger family members? My mother in law did this for 5 years: eat a little, take a nap, get up for a spell, take a nap...she just passed at 98! This is the winding down of an active life; listen to her needs and don't force her into things you think she ought to be doing.

Hazelnut, your grandmother is 90. My mom is 81 and every night she asks the good Lord to take her. I have made my peace if I someday wake up and find her gone. Qaulity of life over quantity. I am 47 years old and do not wish to see my mother suffer any longer. She is supposed to wear her C-pap machine at night and refuses. The arguing is not worth it. She is still in control of her life. I do the best I can to make her comfortable. She used to be a big eater and now she is so picky it is very hard to find something she likes. This just comes with the old age and all the ailments that she encounters. She sleeps all day until around 2 or 3 in the aftternoon and wonders why she can't sleep well at night. She does have the sundowners syndrome....night and days switched. Hard to get it converted again. I love my mother with all my heart and will keep her comfy until her last breath. It is just so hard to see the woman that she has become from being so strong and fiesty in her younger days. I now pray for God to do his will. It never was mine to control. Let your grandmother sleep and have patience with her. Keep her comfortable and cherish the time you have left. She has lived a long life and is now tired and ready to retire to the mansion of our God where there is no pain or suffering. I hope this gives you peace. Hugs....:)

Keepingmyword, your story brought tears to my eyes. Do the best you can do. I know it is hard for you. I feel for you. Give yourself some credit for stepping up to the plate. Someone, sounds like your grandmother, taught you something wonderful, while helping raise you. When our parents and grandparents get to this age, they are not the same person we used to know. They will say things that you never imagined would come out of their mouths. It is their mind slowly going. Remember her how she was, not how she is. I hope you have peace in your life and know that you are a courageous young woman who has a big heart. Prayers and hugs.

Watch food matters and living health

My mother-in-law is 94, soon to be 95 in May and has gone through a tough few years of hip surgeries and vascular surgery to increase circulation in her feet. She just got home from the convalescent hospital after 7 weeks of drip antbiotics because the bone in her leg was infected after the vascular surgery. Now, she sleeps about 18 hours/day and night with a break for food/toilet. She is ambulatory, but seems a little disengaged; maybe because of hearing loss (she can't seem to find her hearing aids, or she doesn't like to put them in). My husband is worried that she sleeps so much, but I think that is totally normal because she is still healing from the trauma of the previous surgery. At the convalescent center, they woke her up constantly (they had to give her the IVs, get her up for rehab exercise, fed her 3 times daily, etc). Plus, the place was very noisy; her roommate had her TV on all night! Now she is back with us in a comfortable room and bed, surrounded by her family and two little dogs which provide constant companionship. When she is up, she eats usually 1 or 2 times a day and has a healthy appetite. The best part is that she is not in pain anymore, and says that she feels fine when she gets up. I thInk it is best to let her sleep; we will see -- after such an onslaught of medical problems, it is only normal.