At present she is in assisted care but cries everyday that she wants to go home with a carer in charge.

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Sorry didn't make myself clear. Mother is also handicapped with no use of her left hand. ( hit and run driver when she was 79 years old )
It's obvious that she won't be able to change and care for her stoma, but she is most insistent to go home to her flat. ( 3 floors up and no elevator)
She obviously needs 24/7 care but the big problem is convincing her to stay in the nursing home where she is at present.
Every time someone from the family visits her she complains and cries for the whole visitation.
It's a beautiful nursing home and the staff are extremely lovely to her. ( they understand her fretting)
Myself, of course I feel upset at my mothers situation, and I don't know how to deal with it..
I'm afraid if we bring her home she will be isolated in her flat without any outside contact.
The nursing home have so many activities and my mother , could,if she wanted, make new friends...
Her brain, as I said, is functioning totally and she is very bright ..
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It takes time to adjust and your mother has two big adjustments--a new home and a stoma. If it is permanent, she will eventually need help managing it and its hard to find home care workers who will help. My mother has a colostomy and was able to manage it--mostly-- on her own for years. Then trouble and midnight calls or calls at my work when her bag broke and there was an almighty mess. Home workers quit or refused to help. Now in AL a nurse trained staff to help and she is on a schedule. No more blockages. No more messes. I am guessing your mother is just where she needs to be.
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Is there a question in there? Or a statement of fact.

The brain functioning of a 50 y/o or a 5 y/o? I'd LOVE to have my 50 y/o brain again! (Not being snarky, just commenting)

It sounds like she is where she needs to be. Are you feeling guilty b/c she's not living with you? Come back and add to your OP and you'll get more help.
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