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My mother is 62 and lives in Washington State. My sister, who is currently a criminal//drug user is her power of attorney over healthcare. My mom is pretty much confined to a small room and unable to physically get up on her own and take care of self. Mom is very thin and from other family members who have seen her said, she looks dehydrated and very sick. My mom has been an alcoholic for years and may have liver disease.
When I try to call and check on her, she is very angry and seems in-coherent most of the time. Her and I have never gotten along very well with so much verbal abuse and dysfunction with the alcoholism. I just need to make sure she is not dying there in that room.
My sister is always gone and leaves her boyfriend, kids and other friends at house while she "runs errands" drug dealing all day. My mom is in diapers now and has bedsores and no appetite. I feel she is being seriously neglected. Is there any advice you can give me to try and get her help.
I am not comfortable going there because my mom is very angry with me and will not compromise or agree to anything I want to do to help her.

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good Idea.... take care, I admire you for wanting to protect your children!!!
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I definately agree w/your 2 cents Jaye. the dept of elderly abuse has already been contacted and actually has already been out to her house a few times to conduct a visit. I myself, have spoken to the agent who is checking up on her and he still insists that there is nothing they can do at this point.
It is so upsetting for me because there's no fix for this! I have two young childrern of my own who need me and I will not bring them into that (druggie, alcoholic, dysfunctional) type of environment. I am very protective of my girls, possibly because of the turmoil that I went through as a child.
I am going to continue to nag the authorities of Washington State and try to get more people involved in the matter because I know that this mistreatment to my mom is not right in any way! They just keep telling me that if she seems to have her mental health to make her own decisions that she is able to decide on her health choices. The problem there is that she has never been able to make sane, sensible decisions for herself. She has been an alcoholic for many years and very unstable lifestyle choices.
thanks for your input everyone. I am going to keep you posted on the situation. My step today is to call an elderly abuse hotline and see if they can help on this??
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I think you do need to call the Dept of Elder Affairs in Washington! No one deserves to be mistreated like that... I would say she needs to be removed from your sisters home and placed in a facility to get some care. Your sister needs to be charged with neglect and elder abuse!!! Just my two cents...
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I am not surprised that the paramedics couldn't do anything, BUT if you have other familly members there, you need to INSIST that they advise Adult Protection Services of the conditions she is living in, and insist that they intervene. The court system can REVOKE a power of attorney if that person is not performing their duties as necessary.

Keep trying Cristie, get others involved, something should be done to help her, even if she doesn't see the need for it herself. Abuse is abuse, in any state!!!
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Thank you MiaM.... I appreciate your encouragment. I am now calling 911 again and I will report it as a life-threatening situation. I'll post again when I hopefully get some help from the authorities?? I don't know any neighbors in the area. It would be very helpful if I did. I just wish my mother would cooperate and not be so stubborn and get help.
Thanks again M.M.
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Cristie... I can read the frustration in your post. My heart goes out to you, and we all know how difficult it is to do something from a distance. Do you have any other trusted friends in the area that can help you? Perhaps find out who a neighbor is, so THEY can call APS and be able to give more 'direct' information. I don't think of you as an 'enabler' (since I am not a psych major, not really sure what that means) I think of you as a concerned family member that needs to take the initiative to help before its too later. Please keep us posted. We do care here.
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I already have called the authorities and they have went to her home on several occasions. They were there a few nights ago and said, yes-she does truely look very ILL!! So why did'nt they do something about it!! Also Adult Protective Care has opened a case and is currently investigating (found that out this morning). APS agrees with everything I'm concerned about but without my mom agreeing that she needs help or my sister to make her, they said they really can't take action without a Dr. report stating that she is incapacitated!! I am going to call the paramedics today and tell them that she is slowly dying there. Hopefully I can get some help there. No wonder why so many elderly victims go un-cared for. I am not an ENABLER!! My sistern has been in and out of jail numerous times for these drug dealing crimes and still, she is now at home responsible for an elder. Maybe it's the Elderly system in Washington that is the enablers??
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I completely agree with Sylvester. Get the authorities involved now!
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She IS dying, slowly but surely from the OBVIOUS neglect. You need to call paramedics to the home IMMEDIATELY and tell them your Mother is in danger and is being neglected. AND YOU NEED TO CALL THE POLICE ON YOUR SISTER AND HAVE HER ARRESTED FOR DEALING DRUGS. She could be selling to kids and some may have already died from overdoses! You are actaully enabling her by NOT calling the police since you KNOW she is selling drugs.
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