She is 99, has progressed dementia but her body is still in surprisingly good shape. She still walks, goes to the bathroom, we take her for walks, 4 times a week she spends a few hours in Alzheimer's day care.
So it should be not so bad...
But I have a difficult time with her. I admit I never liked her and our contact was just being polite to each other once every couple of years since we luckily lived at other sides of US. She used to be the teacher and she has that attitude that everybody has to do what she wants and says. And it became progressively worse with less and less brakes as dementia progresses.
I can give her food, keep her warm and clean but that is it. I don’t like or love her. It makes it really difficult to put up with her stubbornness and bossing.
I agreed and wanted her to come to live with us since she refuses nursing home option And I can understand that and sincerely want her to stay close to her son. But being around her and trying to take care about her makes me to feel inadequate and a bad person since I don’t feel anything nice towards her. I never did and it is not getting better with her losing control over her behavior.
I only feel some sympathy with the fellow human being at the end.
My husband is wonderful with her and he is nice with me also. He understands that she is a hard to like person and it was actually a reason he moved far away after his studies. But now he is 70 and we have a little time to enjoy also. Instead of that we take care of an almost 100 years old unpleasant woman.
I know I am not a nice person having these feelings...I just don’t know how to continue every day for maybe quite a few years. We might die sooner than she will. It scares me.