I'll try and make this as brief as I can, but it's been a crazy month. My mother was hospitalized from October 23-November 5 and then again from November 9-14. She was hospitalized for confusion and a possible morphine overdose (she was an addict for many years and relapsed). It then turned out she was in renal failure, severely dehydrated, severely constipated, had severe heart arrhythmia and a host of other issues. She went into this delirium (term the doctor used) and for about 3-4 days she didn't know her name, where she was, who I and my father were, or anything. She just lay in bed and screamed. I can't stress enough how horrible this was to witness. We were thinking she would be permanently disabled, need to be put in a home permanently, or die. I was freaking out, breaking down sobbing in public, and basically hysterical. A few days later, she came out of it. My mother had NO memory of anything except that her evil nasty husband called the paramedics. I told her about what really happened, and her reaction was "huh." They stabilized her and then sent her to transitional care, much to her dismay. A few days after THAT, she had a fall in the nursing home, was back in hospital with a messed up heart rate and severe blockage in her carotid artery. They put in a stent and were ready to send her back to transitional care. OHHH NO, she says. I've had enough! I didn't need to come here in the first place, my husband just called 911 because he found out I was taking drugs! You're just doing this to punish me! I'm going HOME. So she came home after vowing to have a nurse/OT/whatever come in. And since then, she has barely eaten. She hasn't drunk nearly enough water, she had an accident in the bathroom and didn't clean herself (or the toilet, or the floor) up, and she's literally not lifting one single finger for herself. I mean that literally. She will ask me to hand her things that are on the nightstand because she doesn't want to roll over. She is presenting herself as fully functional, though. A nurse called to ask how she was. "Oh, fine!" Today the home health care worker came for an assessment. I sat in on it. Thank god I did. My mother painted a picture of herself as absolutely just fine and dandy and most definitely not home/bed-bound. The nurse was this close to leaving, and I finally spoke up saying uhhh yeah, she can just barely make it to the bathroom. After that, every time I corrected my mother when she overestimated her own abilities/willingness to perform tasks, she glared at me. I mean, here's the problem. She wants to run these people out of town, claim she's just fine, and then make me and my poor dad (who had a stroke last year, btw!) do everything for her. She hasn't bathed in god knows how long, at least 2 weeks. The nurse asked her if she wanted to have someone come in in a few days to help her take a shower. "No, I can do it!" She can't. She can't stand for more than a minute or so. I can't help her, our bathroom is tiny. Then when the (incredibly nice) nurse left, she just looked at me and said "I thought that woman would never leave!" I have been taking care of her to the extent that I can since... well, childhood. I have NEVER had a life. EVER. I'm 32 now, I have messed up spinal discs, severe sciatica, and bipolar disorder. I am a terrible caretaker. I am fed up with all of this. She is getting to where she needs more care than I can give. But she doesn't see it.