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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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My friend's husband with the same issues as your mom passed away in hospice care a few weeks ago. He was in memory care, and the hospice organization is owned by the same family company as the memory care. "Roger" had mixed dementia and was incontinent. He also had palsy, couldn't walk or speak except for a few words now and then. He did understand what others were saying to some extent. He had a beautiful smile and reacted to events around him.
However, he began to spit out his food though he'd been a good eater. Then he started being unable to swallow every time. He'd cough food and saliva up. Eventually, for days, he refused to eat and fell asleep instead. He began to sleep all the time except for brief waking periods. His body was shutting down. Hospice doctor and nurse conferred with his wife, and they all agreed that Roger would no longer be offered food. In such a case, the patient feels pain if they drink or eat. Wife and family gathered at the facility to say goodbyes and were there for several hours. I was there to lend support. Roger was slightly aware and smiled.
When they left at 5 p.m., morphine was started and he went to sleep in his room in his bed. Hospice nurses stayed with him constantly. Roger was turned on a regular schedule. His briefs were changed on schedule also. This continued through the next day, and he slept peacefully. Family was in and out, telling him they loved him and holding his hand, smoothing his hair, and talking quietly with each other. In the early hours of the following day, Roger passed gently after a few deep breaths and then no more. His family was grateful for his peaceful passing. His son, an R.N. who had worked with hospice in the past, said that medical protocol was followed perfectly and that they couldn't have asked for better care for his dad.
I’m just so confused with this vascular dementia. Today she was able to eat a grilled cheese sandwich really well. And another minute she can’t swallow at all. I’m sure she is in the last stages because she seems to be talking to people who aren’t there. I think now is a good time for hospice. They are coming Friday to discuss everything.
unjust want to be doing what’s right for her. Thank you all for all your help.
Hospice will give you no respite from mother since you still have to care for her 24/7 while she's under hospice care at home. What I don't understand is why you haven't used MOTHER'S funds to HIRE in home help to relieve you of this burden and anger you feel??? She makes too much for Medicaid, you say, so why not use some of that money to get out of the house for the day and relax, calm down? Your mother is not the only one who needs "the right thing" done for her......you are another player in this game! Get hospice, yes, but that's a few hours a week, if that, where a nurse stops by to take vitals, and a CNA comes by to bathe mom. A chaplain and social worker stop by periodically, and that's it. You dole out the meds and do all the rest of the care, same as always.
My mother had vascular dementia and lived in Memory Care Assisted Living. She had hospice come on board in Dec of 2022 and she didn't seem close to death either. Yet she was in her 6th yr of this aggressive form of dementia. On Feb 15, she felt tired after breakfast and went to bed. She became semi comatose and never woke up. She died exactly 7 days later, peacefully, and in no pain.
We have no idea when an elder will pass, in reality.
Allow hospice to explain their goal to you. To keep mother comfortable, w/o taking life saving measures to keep her alive. To keep her out of hospitals and away from poking and prodding and imaging. The goal of hospice is to allow nature to take its course w/o needless interventions. You dole out comfort meds as needed. Addiction is not of concern because the patient is now at end of life. The goal is to stay comfortable and free from anxiety only. Hospice can be fired at any time. Please read their paperwork and understand that their goal is not to kill your mother but to keep her comfortable. So many folks come to A.C. after a parent dies accusing hospice of "killing" them when it was the disease or condition that was the cause, not hospice. It's important to know what you're signing up for when you do.
I had good experiences with hospice for both of my parents. Although its a very unpleasant experience to watch a loved one die. In my opinion, it's worse to see that loved one continue to suffer with dementia day in and day out than it is to be at final and perfect peace with God.
My mom, age 97, lives in an assisted-living memory care facility. She has been receiving hospice services for more than 1 year. The hospice services were approved because of a tentative diagnosis of congestive heart failure; mom also has cognitive issues that might be caused by vascular dementia. My family has been very satisfied with the hospice services.
Hang in there, Beverly. It's hard. My mother was just put on hospice a few weeks ago. She's been in memory care for a little over 2 years with Alzheimer's, congestive heart failure, and Parkinson's. After her 4th fall in a month the facility suggested that "it's time." Honestly, I'm thrilled about her having the opportunity for hospice. It means more eyes and hands on her (RN visits 2+ times per week), chaplain visits, access for me to a social worker when my mother passes, and so on. She can eat and drink just fine "today," but we all know how quickly that can change. I'm glad she/we are able to establish a relationship now with the hospice team prior to the time when she stops eating, loses consciousness, and starts her journey to the other side.
My husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's but I think he also had Vascular dementia. He was on Hospice. I could not have done what I was able to do if it were not for Hospice. He had a Nurse that came to see him 1 time a week. He had a CNA that came 2 times a week. As he declined the sent another to help the first one. The Nurse ordered all his medical supplies and she also ordered the equipment that I needed to make it safe for me, and him to be cared for at home. All the supplies she ordered were delivered to the house. The CNA would order all the personal care items I needed. These were also delivered to the house. When I needed a break and could not get the paid caregiver to change hours I could ask for a Volunteer to some sit with him. Honestly I could not have safely cared for him at home if it were not for Hospice. And for those that say Hospice will "kill" the patient. They did a real poor job of that with my husband...he was on Hospice for almost 3 years. (He did have to go through many "recertifications" to be sure that he continued to meet Medicare guidelines.. I can't stress enough to document each and every decline you notice in order to help meet those guidelines)
Hospice will provide a nurse to visit her regularly, will provide medications to make her comfortable, but will not provide medications to prolong life. For instance, blood pressure medication, or vitamin supplements would not be given, but that doesn't mean you can't buy it and administer if you think it's something she needs.
Hospice should also provide a CNA to help the patient with bathing once or twice a week.
She may not pass within 6 months. At that time, she would be re-evaluated by a hospice nurse, and if she continues to fit the criteria to be eligible, Hospice will be renewed. If she shows improvement, and is no longer eligible, then she will be discharged from Hospice. That doesn't mean you can't request hospice services again in the future.
My dad’s official diagnosis was frontotemporal dementia (FTD), but his neurologist said his brain deterioration was consistent with Alzheimer’s, FTD, and vascular combined.
He got to the point where he was falling almost every time he tried to stand and he had swallowing problems and incontinence and other issues.
We elected hospice and I think it was 100% helpful and the right decision for him. I would do it again, no question. I think you are doing the right thing. That doesn’t make it easy. It’s hard. It’s sad. But hospice is there to help you both through it.
The hospice provider we used had 24/7 phone support where a real human answered day or night. The nurse or nurse coordinator would call you back with any questions. The nurse would come once a week or for emergencies. They also had an in-patient facility where in the end we did take my dad as it was no longer safe or practical to manage him at home his last few days. We could visit him there 24/7 but trained professionals did all his care and they were kind and compassionate.
I had an aunt who forgot how to eat. Her husband would feed her, telling her to open her mouth, at which point she would just chew and chew and chew. He had to tell her to swallow and help her do so
My mom has what we call "valleys" and "rallies." This year, there have been about six days when she has seemed near death: sleeping to the point of being unresponsive for many hours. The next day, she's back at her "new normal": conscious, able to go into the dining room for meals, talking, etc. She regularly has hallucinations, so I wouldn't necessarily classify this behavior as caused by impending death. A few weeks ago, a hospice nurse said Mom might live for three more years like this.
That must be extraordinarily difficult. Prayers for you and her.
My dads decline was mostly valleys followed by a cliff followed by his active dying under hospice. It took 11 days. I suppose we were the fortunate ones.
My late husband had vascular dementia and was under hospice care in our home the last 22 months of his life. I'm sure you're aware that vascular dementia is the most aggressive of all of the dementias with a life expectancy of just 5 years, so if your moms had it for several years now it may be time to bring hospice on board. And keep in mind that just because hospice is brought on board it doesn't mean that your mom will die anytime soon, because like I said, my late husband was under their care for the last 22 months of his life. Bringing hospice on board will mean extra sets of eyes on your mom, with a nurse coming to check on her once a week to start and aides coming to bathe her about twice a week. They will also supply any and all needed equipment, supplies and medications all covered 100% under your moms Medicare. I wish you well as you make the decision to do what is now best for your mom.
Thanks for all your help. She is declining but I don’t see her near death soon. I will just be thankful to have help. It’s so hard since I am the only child left living. Thank god for my husband who is a lifesaver for me. It’s just so physically and mentally exhausting. But hopefully with hospice we can get a little relief.
My husband had vascular dementia and from beginning to end, it was just about 5 years. I did not recognize the signs at first. He had lost of thoughts I am assisting g others and words. He wandered and had many mini strokes. He made it known to all that he dud not want to have any more tests once he was diagnosed with an MRI. He took medicine only to treat his symptoms and to stay calm. He had awful panic attacks and was frightened knowing something was very wrong. I stayed with him at home till the very end. W weeks before he died, he fell and had a major stroke and was partially paralyzed. Our two children took medical leave and we gave him w4 hour care at home as he wished. He passed very peacefully in his own bed surrounded by his children, grandchildren and me. He smiled and looked at each one of us and simply closed his eyes with that beautiful smile reaching to the sky! Just like he wanted. Hospice was great but not enough helpers and aides to give us much time. A year later I am caring for other elderly people in need. I am contemplating becoming a " death doula" but for now am content with giving a helping hand and keeping patients at home with those they love most. Best to you...build a solid support system for your Mom and yourself.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
However, he began to spit out his food though he'd been a good eater. Then he started being unable to swallow every time. He'd cough food and saliva up. Eventually, for days, he refused to eat and fell asleep instead. He began to sleep all the time except for brief waking periods. His body was shutting down. Hospice doctor and nurse conferred with his wife, and they all agreed that Roger would no longer be offered food. In such a case, the patient feels pain if they drink or eat. Wife and family gathered at the facility to say goodbyes and were there for several hours. I was there to lend support. Roger was slightly aware and smiled.
When they left at 5 p.m., morphine was started and he went to sleep in his room in his bed. Hospice nurses stayed with him constantly. Roger was turned on a regular schedule. His briefs were changed on schedule also. This continued through the next day, and he slept peacefully. Family was in and out, telling him they loved him and holding his hand, smoothing his hair, and talking quietly with each other. In the early hours of the following day, Roger passed gently after a few deep breaths and then no more. His family was grateful for his peaceful passing. His son, an R.N. who had worked with hospice in the past, said that medical protocol was followed perfectly and that they couldn't have asked for better care for his dad.
unjust want to be doing what’s right for her. Thank you all for all your help.
My mother had vascular dementia and lived in Memory Care Assisted Living. She had hospice come on board in Dec of 2022 and she didn't seem close to death either. Yet she was in her 6th yr of this aggressive form of dementia. On Feb 15, she felt tired after breakfast and went to bed. She became semi comatose and never woke up. She died exactly 7 days later, peacefully, and in no pain.
We have no idea when an elder will pass, in reality.
Allow hospice to explain their goal to you. To keep mother comfortable, w/o taking life saving measures to keep her alive. To keep her out of hospitals and away from poking and prodding and imaging. The goal of hospice is to allow nature to take its course w/o needless interventions. You dole out comfort meds as needed. Addiction is not of concern because the patient is now at end of life. The goal is to stay comfortable and free from anxiety only. Hospice can be fired at any time. Please read their paperwork and understand that their goal is not to kill your mother but to keep her comfortable. So many folks come to A.C. after a parent dies accusing hospice of "killing" them when it was the disease or condition that was the cause, not hospice. It's important to know what you're signing up for when you do.
I had good experiences with hospice for both of my parents. Although its a very unpleasant experience to watch a loved one die. In my opinion, it's worse to see that loved one continue to suffer with dementia day in and day out than it is to be at final and perfect peace with God.
Best of luck to you.
He was on Hospice.
I could not have done what I was able to do if it were not for Hospice.
He had a Nurse that came to see him 1 time a week.
He had a CNA that came 2 times a week. As he declined the sent another to help the first one.
The Nurse ordered all his medical supplies and she also ordered the equipment that I needed to make it safe for me, and him to be cared for at home. All the supplies she ordered were delivered to the house.
The CNA would order all the personal care items I needed. These were also delivered to the house.
When I needed a break and could not get the paid caregiver to change hours I could ask for a Volunteer to some sit with him.
Honestly I could not have safely cared for him at home if it were not for Hospice.
And for those that say Hospice will "kill" the patient. They did a real poor job of that with my husband...he was on Hospice for almost 3 years. (He did have to go through many "recertifications" to be sure that he continued to meet Medicare guidelines.. I can't stress enough to document each and every decline you notice in order to help meet those guidelines)
Hospice should also provide a CNA to help the patient with bathing once or twice a week.
She may not pass within 6 months. At that time, she would be re-evaluated by a hospice nurse, and if she continues to fit the criteria to be eligible, Hospice will be renewed. If she shows improvement, and is no longer eligible, then she will be discharged from Hospice. That doesn't mean you can't request hospice services again in the future.
My dad’s official diagnosis was frontotemporal dementia (FTD), but his neurologist said his brain deterioration was consistent with Alzheimer’s, FTD, and vascular combined.
He got to the point where he was falling almost every time he tried to stand and he had swallowing problems and incontinence and other issues.
We elected hospice and I think it was 100% helpful and the right decision for him. I would do it again, no question. I think you are doing the right thing. That doesn’t make it easy. It’s hard. It’s sad. But hospice is there to help you both through it.
The hospice provider we used had 24/7 phone support where a real human answered day or night. The nurse or nurse coordinator would call you back with any questions. The nurse would come once a week or for emergencies. They also had an in-patient facility where in the end we did take my dad as it was no longer safe or practical to manage him at home his last few days. We could visit him there 24/7 but trained professionals did all his care and they were kind and compassionate.
Best wishes to you getting through this.
My dads decline was mostly valleys followed by a cliff followed by his active dying under hospice. It took 11 days. I suppose we were the fortunate ones.
I'm sure you're aware that vascular dementia is the most aggressive of all of the dementias with a life expectancy of just 5 years, so if your moms had it for several years now it may be time to bring hospice on board.
And keep in mind that just because hospice is brought on board it doesn't mean that your mom will die anytime soon, because like I said, my late husband was under their care for the last 22 months of his life.
Bringing hospice on board will mean extra sets of eyes on your mom, with a nurse coming to check on her once a week to start and aides coming to bathe her about twice a week. They will also supply any and all needed equipment, supplies and medications all covered 100% under your moms Medicare.
I wish you well as you make the decision to do what is now best for your mom.
Best to you...build a solid support system for your Mom and yourself.
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