My mother has just started to get out of bed in the middle of the night to come looking for me.

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She has come into my room 3 times now. Either looking for my deceased father or saying she got a phone call from some woman that needs to go to the hospital. Last time she got fully dressed and came thru a dark house without her walker. I can take a lot but this might be the deal breaker. Do I have options?

Answers 1 to 9 of 9
Agree. I would be as well. I’ve looked in to options when my “ deal breaker moment “ happens. We are not immune from what this is doing to us . Decided recently to have an “exit plan”. Can’t keep pretending the abnormal is normal. For me, it’s still ok. Having a stragedy is helping for when it’s not. Got a needs assessment done. Visited a beautiful place where my mother will probably go. It keeps me a little more sane knowing a great place exists when the time comes
This would be so startling and actually very scary if one happened to be in a deep sleep. Yes, this sounds like a deal breaker to me unless perhaps her doctor or specialist has ideas about meds or other strategies that could allay nighttime wandering. You definitely have to sleep!
Ohboyohboyohboy - !

Any other recent changes? New medication, other behaviours you've noticed? Just wondering if something could have unsettled her sleep pattern. Report what's happening to her doctor, and meanwhile set yourself a personal deadline for how long you can put up with this unless it's resolved. Do you have a facility you like the look of lined up?
My concern is first for you. It might very well be the dealbreaker, because it is no life (and very unhealthy!) for someone to have interrupted sleep night after night.

But consider your mother's safety, as well. "Last time she got fully dressed and came thru a dark house without her walker." There is a good chance that she could fall walking through a dark house without her walker.
I bought a baby monitor and a motion sensor for this very reason. Yes, I still have to wake up and assist my mother, but she's not roaming around unattended anymore.
Since sleep disorders are common with dementia, I'd talk to her doctor about it. There may be medications that can help her rest more throughout the night. I'd try to address this now, since, even if you place her in a long term care facility, night roaming will need to be addressed there too. A big problem is the senior getting up during the night and falling. It's happened to my LO more than several times. Proper meds and an alarm for the bed has helped reduce this a lot.
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These behaviors are part of Alzheimer's. You can try changing meds. Have a discussion with her doctor. I also have a baby monitor.

The biggest concern is that she will start wandering. She could start leaving the house or other dangerous behaviors, like using the stove, etc.

If you can't get her to sleep better, you will need to be sure she is monitored at night....a paid caregiver, a family member that stays up with her, or placement in memory Care.

We kept mom home and took shifts. The doctor added meds but they only work only sometimes. We have a monitor. If mom was up, one of us was up with her. We have a recliner in her room. We take turns staying in her room; one half the night then swap. At this point, stage 7, mom is no longer able to get out of bed. She still is up much of the night a couple of times a week. I just go sleep on the recliner so she does not get scared alone. Only you can decide what you can handle.
Thank you all for answering, I feel better just knowing you are out there. I have a baby monitor but and seriously thinking about an alarm if she should get up. I also know I should start researching memory care facilities now. I keep telling myself it is not time yet, especially since she would have to use Medicaid and I hate to see her lose what little property she has. I will have to bite the bullet. Bless you all
Alarms work great. I used one with my grandma for a while until basically she ended up not trusting herself to get up so she asks for help. I also place the walker in front of her path in case she decides to get herself up. She gets up to go to the bathroom though not to scream and wake me up. I have to admit, her screaming, "HELP ME!" scares me enough so I cannot imagine having someone wake me up the way you are being woken up.

I have a talking baby monitor meaning I can push a button and talk back to her. She honestly doesn't use it as much as she could have before. She used to remember I had the monitor and would talk to me in it expecting a reply. Now she just forgets I have it and cries for help then I go and help her. It sounds to me like a night terror or nightmare or hallucation that she is having a night. Perhaps your doctor can provide something that might relax her a bit at night.

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