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barbara,

contact your local office of aging and adult social services, there are alot of programs out there that dont look at just the big number, they take into account what your bills are.
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Adult day care...homecare givers? Cheaper at that level than a retirement facility depends on the situation.
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She would have to use her own money in a nursing home until she spent-down to what is allowed and then would go on medicaide my husband was going to be medicaide pending while the process was being done but died before medicaide was started the social worker in a nursing home can be of great help it is too involved for a spouse or adult children to do alone.
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I suggest you contact an elder law attorney for information about a Miller's Trust. My aunt falls into this catergory and the attorney said when her all her assets are used up to required levels, a Miller's trust is created with her monthly income. All of the monthly income goes into the trust and a check is written by the trustee and is then given to the nursing home, except for $65, to pay her nursing home expenses and Medicaid pays for the balance of the n/h bill. The $65 is used for her personal expenses.
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