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Can someone please tell me, my mom gets state retirement of Oklahoma, survivors benefits from my father, and her SS she gave me POA durible. My sister is mean to her and always has been, but my mom is in like denial alot and mean to me now. I have no way to finish paying off the house for the next year cus I'm sick from everything and so can they take her entire income having Medicare and health choice for health and has 3 incomes?

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I wish you had medical POA for then you could learn from her doctor just what is wrong with her. If all she is going to do is lie and cause you panic attacks, the I would be inclined to say back off for she doesn't want to deal with whatever it is.
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The situation is worsening n I've always been kinda the pushover n its kinda more less broke ME down to size. I thought maybe she had sumthing wrong but then she will just act totally together n play more less mind games that are Intentionally causing me panic attacks very bad. I just don't know what to do n having the p. O. A. It's like one day she agrees for help n then changes her mind even faster now n its like I can't even get the Dr to bottom line answer me what or if anything is wrong n even saying like if she come to even tho I'm her daughter she resents me it's okay. She won't admit it so to me it's like denial. N she acts perfect n very self involved. Is that a sign of sumthin cus I'm just so tired of no answers n Thank yu for ur answers n all bearing W me
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Thanks, cmagnum.

Bales, it appears this situation is at least six months old. What has happened in the last half year? Have you applied for Medicaid? That income level seems pretty high to qualify for Medicaid. Are you working with an Elder Law attorney?
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Balesgirl5858, please do not type in all caps. It is difficult to read.

What kind of care do you provide for your mother? Does she need help with activities of daily living? Getting to the bathroom? Making meals and eating? Taking medications? What does she need help with? She needs to have an objective needs assessment done. Have you tried to arrange that yet?

When your mom goes into a care facility will you be able to go back to work and continue making house payments? Whose house is it? Are you getting medical treatment for your illness? Would it prevent you from going back to work?

If Medicaid pays for your mother's care in a nursing home or other facility, all of mother's income (except a small personal needs allowance) will go toward her care. She will have no funds available to help with house payments.

Have you begun the Medicaid application process?
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I am so confused. The only time Medicaid pays for care is in a nursing home. And yes, they take all Moms income to offset the cost of her care. Any other facilities would be private pay. Medicare does not get taken away or supplimental. If on Medicaid supplimental is not needed.
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You tried to work and she called the police?

The fact that she calls the police when you are out does not equate to you quitting your job.

Go back to work. Call the Area Agency on Aging and ask for their help. Start with a needs assessment.
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I TRIED N UNTIL RECENCENTLY SHE CALLED THE POLICE N THEY CAUGHT HER FINALLY IN LIES THANK GOD CUS THAT TO ME IS DANGEROUS SHE ACTS LIKE ITS NORMAKL
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Have any of her doctors prescribed medication for her? Does she take any medication at all?

Is she a danger to herself?  To others?  Have YOU talked to her doctors about her behavior (if she lies to them, do you tell them what is actually going on?)

I see that you have durable POA.  

What kind of care are you providing for your mother that you can't work?  If she's left alone at home, what happens?  

Can you go back to your old job or get a new one so that you can pay your bills and leave mom at home to care for herself?
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EVERY PSYCHIATRIST WHICH IS 3 SHE IS MEAN TO N RUNS OFF IDK WHAT TO DO
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SHE LIES TO HER DR. N NOW ITS JUST GOT TO A POINT WHERE I FEEL LIKE SHE NEEDS HELP N I THANK YU SO MUCH FOR ANSWERING BACK REALLY THAT WAS SO NICE OF YU
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Bales, take the CAPS lock off.

Mom is living with you and is making your house payments. You quit your job to care for her because your sister couldn't. You now find that you can't care for her either and that the stress of caregiving has made you ill.

You are now looking into facility care.

The first thing to do is to get a "needs assessment". You can call the local Area Agency on Aging and ask them to arrange this. You need someone objective and knowledgeable to tell you if mom needs Assisted Living , memory care, a nursing home, or a senior apartment. Let them tell you what she needs and what resources are available.

Your profile says that mom's problem is depression. Is she seeing a psychiatrist for treatment? Is she on meds? Is her doctor aware of how she's behaving?

I take it that you are trying to get a caregiver agreement started with mom. That is a much better idea than having her make house payments, unless you make a rental agreement with her.

The lawyer who only talked about seeing mom doesn't sound very knowlegable.
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IM SORRRY THE STATE OF OKLAHOMA MORE LESS IF IT WAS A NURTSING HOME IF THE FACILITY WHERE WE R TRYINMG TO GET HER HELP AT DOESNT WORK
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Who is the "they" you are worried about? Can who take her entire income?

Is mother living in the house? Are you? Is mother thinking of moving?

A few more details will help get more specific advice.
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