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The Narc mother is sane and the narc sister did a fight and flight and moved out of state. She wanted to buy another home for herself and her 3 adult kids but my mother said no. she asked 4 times, after that she decided to tell her to do a POA and healthcare proxy. Now she has legal rights over her monies. I was left out of the process. I have my own health issues and memory loss due to health issues. How do I revoke the POA and Proxy.

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If Mom is sane, sister really has no controll. She can't buy herself a house with Moms money because that would be enriching herself and she can't do this as a POA. Moms money is for Mom. Its fraud for your sister to spend it any other way. You can report her to APS for finsncial Senior abuse. Plus, if Mom should ever need Medicaid there are penalties if large amounts of money are used other than for Mom. These penalties would mean Sister may need to care for Mom till the penalties are met.

Yes, be glad you were not made POA.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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I agree with the opinions that in reality, your Mom did you a favor. Please focus your energies on who is going to be *your* medical and financial PoA. You need to get your own legal ducks in a row, if you haven't already.

If you think your Mom changed her PoA while she didn't have legal capacity to do so, then you need to take your evidence to a certified elder law attorney (who you will need to pay) and the attorney will review it to see if you have a case (at all) and one that may be winnable. A fight over guardianship of your Mom may ensue. Again, this is expensive, time consuming and stressful -- none of what you need in order to protect your own health.

If your concern is really an inheritance issue... you can report your sister to APS for financial abuse but you'd better have actual evidence.

I wish you better health and peace in your heart as you ponder your role in all of this.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Your mom can have whoever she wants as her POA and Healthcare Proxy. You admit to having memory loss issues yourself, so you're not competent to handle someone else's business. Your mother is probably doing you a favor.
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Reply to BurntCaregiver
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You can't revoke POA or healthcare proxy. Only the principal (your mom) can do so. If the person granting the POA is legally competent, they can revoke POA any time they want to. If the POA is "durable," it goes into effect as soon as it's signed, but that doesn't necessarily mean the POA takes over finances--it just allows them to do so if needed. The POA is supposed to act in the interests of the principal and any expenditures must be on the principal's behalf. If your mother does indeed want someone to be able to act on her behalf, is it possible that she chose sister over you because of your "health issues" and "memory loss." When you refer to your sister as "narc shrink", does that mean she's a psychiatrist? You also refer to your mother as a "narc." People seem to use the term "narcissist" (narc) a lot nowadays to over all kinds of behavior that doesn't really meet the clinical definition of narcissistic personality disorder, which was the original meaning.

If your mother were to revoke your sister's POA and healthcare proxy, as you want, what is it you suggest instead to help your mother handle her affairs as she ages and potentially becomes more infirm?
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Reply to newbiewife
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You can’t revoke it . Your mother made her decision . In all honesty you are better off staying away from this mess .
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Reply to waytomisery
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