I have always loved my Mom dearly. She was a very dominating and strong woman. I watched my father slowly inch away from their marriage, because she was so strong and always attacked him verbally for everything that he did wrong. I moved away for 7 years abroad, partially to get away from my mother who watches me and my sister like a hawk. She was always overly critical of us, and being around her was always stressful. I started noticing that when I called her from overseas it was always a nasty conversation about her mostly, and always led into an argument no matter how gentle and happy I tried to steer the conversation, she always found something to be pissed about with me. When me and my wife moved back into her home 8 months ago. I knew there was something mentally wrong with her. My wife also noticed these things as well.
Happy, mad, sad, furious, and there would be cycles almost daily. If she was in a bad mood I would be all to blame for something I didn’t do. We moved out after three months for me, and my wifes sanity. We were just getting on our feet financially, after being away for seven years. To describe my mother is to describe a hurricane. She always veers every conversation back to herself, and the main topic is always about something she is good at or boasting about something she did, even if it is something super small like being the best at frying an egg, just to belittle my wife’s egg frying abilities. She treats me like dirt, always verbally abusing me, and me just taking it until I have to speak up for myself. It happens in cycles. She has no remorse or never feels bad for the way she treats me. But in front of outsiders, she is so charming and the most giving and generous and smart person you could ever meet.
It is insane how she flips the switch on between being the most charismatic, sweet, funny, happy person in front of my friends or her friends, and then when they leave I am just the punching bag that gets pulled out of the dusty garage for a good verbal beating. I used to think that I was being illogical for thinking that my mother had a mental issue, being extremely self aware. But she really has either NPD or borderline disorder. I was a Nurse who took care of patients with psych issues. She is so abusive to the point that whenever I visit her, I am prepared to get a good verbal beating or hear her talk on and on about herself. I cannot even vent a problem to her without her topping off my problem with a thousand of her own. She always plays victim, when she is really the perpetrator. She is always right, and even when she does something so wrong, oh she can never have any fault cause she never makes any mistakes. Everyone else is to blame for all problems. She always blames her back pain on me, saying that “it is because of you I have chronic back pain, me giving birth to you have ruined my back forever.” I am always to blame for everything. I have so many more thigs I would like to mention but I am extremely drained right now.