My father has advanced Alzheimer's Disease, and it was necessary to put him in a nursing home four years ago. He is mobile, but he recognizes no one. My Mom has physical and major depression problems, and I would have to say that they never had a good marriage. Mom doesn't want to visit the nursing home. I know she is hurt by the lack of recognition. She understands all the reasons, but she isn't willing to allow herself to be upset over and over.
Is it wise to suggest she visit? She has told me that "the wheel is moving, but the hamster is dead"!
A priest has told me that an 85 yo woman is old enough to make her own decisions and probably knows more about how to protect her emotional well being than anyone else ever could.